


Burnt Fudge, Tequila Shots

by Mehhh



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety Attacks, Drug Use, M/M, i really just wanted to make Akaashi a drug dealer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-26
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-03-15 09:23:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 27,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3441884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mehhh/pseuds/Mehhh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuroo is a dork<br/>Bokuto is a lovedrunk stoner<br/>Kenma wants his 3DS back<br/>Daichi wants to come back to a smoke free apartment for once<br/>And Akaashi just wants to make money</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Asahi is Hyperventilating in the Corner Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is currently being edited, so if you already read the four chapters, i suggest you reread for a few new laughs and less mistakes that i realized i made. -morgan

“Dude, I don’t think fudge should go in there.” 

“AND I THINK YOU SHOULDN’T TELL ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE.”

“Bokuto, you’re not supposed to put fudge directly into a toaster. Or in a toaster. At all.”

“Goddammit Kuroo, just let me live my life, would you?”

Kuroo sighed in defeat before drinking his second cup of coffee this hour. At this point, it was better to just leave Bokuto and his stupid antics be. 

“Why are you trying to make fudge anyway, man?” He should at least bother to ask. Maybe this answer wouldn’t lead to one of them hanging off a building like last time. It wasn’t fun.

“It’s for Akaashi.” Bokuto said, sighing dreamily in a daze before he refocused himself on the fudge. 

“I thought I told you to stop trying to hook up with our drug dealer.” This was about the third gift Bokuto was trying to give to Akaashi. Note the word trying. By now, the two prior refusals and the one blunt throwing of the homemade vase Bokuto made would probably get the idea across. But if Bokuto was anything, he was a fighter. 

“I can’t help it. He’s so pretty and perfect and pretty.” And a lovesick idiotic. Bokuto was that too. 

“And he’s a drug dealer. Don’t forget that.”

“He’s a drug dealer, I’m considered a degenerate to society. It’s meant to be Kuroo. It’s meant to be!” He threw his hands up in the air, consequently throwing the spoon he had across the room, and then climbed onto one of the kitchen chairs. 

“He threw that horrible handmade vase you made out of a third story window.” Kuroo said while getting and stretching. He had his philosophy class today, right? It should be Tuesday, but he did spend a week thinking everyday was a Tuesday once. It was a very drunk week.

Kuroo moved through their shared dorm apartment, trying not to step onto any of the gross oddities that littered the floor. Oh, there’s that pizza from last week. Or maybe it was the one from three months ago. He wasn’t going to check.

“At least I don’t have a creepy, stalkerish crush on a guy in my philosophy class. I mean, I don’t take philosophy, but that isn’t the point.” Kuroo wasn’t sure how he made it back to the kitchen so fast to throw a whiffle ball at Bokuto’s head, but he did it anyway.

“It is not a creepy, stalkerish crush, you ass. I just happen to like his aesthetic. Which is much better compared to your obsession over a guy who sells fucking drugs for a living. “Kuroo hissed at Bokuto before turning back to his room to get ready for the day.

“Not creepy crush, my ass.” Bokuto mumbled before being pelted in the ass with a rubber football.  
\-----  
Kuroo did not have a creepy crush on the boy in his philosophy class. Kuroo just appreciated a pretty, gorgeous, amazingly adorable, and perfect face when he saw one. And if Kozume Kenma, the incredibly adorable and attractive boy in Kuroo’s class happened to have that sort of face, Kuroo felt that he should be able to appreciate it from a respectable distance without his friend’s judgements. And no, it wasn’t the least bit creepy.

Okay, Kuroo could admit, it seemed a bit creepy, but he never spent the whole class staring at Kozume. Nor did he ever invade Kozume’s personal space to talk to him. He wasn’t that desperate. 

Which is why he totally doesn’t try to look his best for this specific class to impress Kozume. And not why he changes his outfit an average of about three times practices pickup lines in front of the mirror in case Kozume ever does talk to him. Not like he would be able to actually say any of them to Kozume. It was more likely that he would choke on his own spit and pass out in front of him.

Kuroo got to class five minutes early like he always did. He sits at his normal desk, the desk that was exactly five seats away from Kozume. Only five seats and a row in front of him. It’s the perfect place to appreciate the cute bundle of shyness that was Kozume Kenma. Kozume always should up after Kuroo, exactly two minutes before the class was to begin. He always walked into the class slowly, as if testing the waters and making sure nothing would explode. He climbed the stairs to his seat, took out the proper materials for the class, and used his phone until the professor would begin for the day. 

Kuroo found the repetitiveness a bit cute, as if Kozume was making sure nothing would go wrong. Kuroo normally spent the class trying to build up the courage to talk to him, or say hi. It normally didn’t work at all, but he liked to believe the effort to even think about talking to Kozume made up for the fact he became a nervous wreck when he was even near him. 

But the class went way to his fast for his liking today. He hardly had any time to build up courage, and the professor had given them too much to focus on during the class. He didn’t even get a chance to go through the normal thoughts of ‘You can do it Kuroo.’ To ‘You will spaz out, piss your pants, and die right in front of him. Do not do it.’ This class went so fast, he didn’t even begin the cycling of his thoughts. Or at least it was the excuse he was telling himself this time.

He gathered up his things slowly, like he normally did. Which was totally not because Kozume was always one of the last people to leave the class. He always kept a distance of five feet, but it was the only time he was able to get closer to Kozume then his normal five desks and a row behind. He held his breath every second until they went their separate ways from the class.

He knew it was stupid of him to act this way because of one stupid crush, but Kozume just brought out the stupid in him. The romantic stupid. He could be idiotic stupid on his own, sometimes with Bokuto’s help.  
\-----  
His apartment didn’t seem anymore in order than he was when he came back. It was worse actually. Especially if he took in the fact that smoke, screams, and the shrill shrieks from the smoke alarm were coming from the kitchen. 

“YOU DON’T FUCKING PUT FUDGE IN A TOASTER, YOU IDIOIT.”

“HOW WAS I SUPPOSE TO KNOW THAT?”

“YOU DON’T EVEN NEED TO COOK FUDGE.”

“Guys, please. You shouldn’t be screaming so loud. The neighbors are going to complain again.”

“OUR KITCHEN NEARLY CAUGHT ON FIRE AND IS CURRENTLY FILLED WITH SMOKE BECAUSE THIS NUMBSKULL OF AN OWL DECIDED TO PUT FUDGE DIRECTLY INTO A TOASTER. OOF COURSE I’M GOING TO SCREAM.” 

Kuroo was caught between running out before he had to experience Sawamura’s wrath and Asahi’s trembling, or helping Bokuto out of the fucking mess he caused. When the smoke alarm started to go off twice as loud, he decided to at least try and ease the tension of the situation.

Walking into the kitchen, his three roommates were, more or less, in various states of panic. Azumane Asahi, the most sensible of his roommates, stood next to the toaster, trying to fan the smoke that was coming out of it towards the open window. Bokuto Kotarou, his best and most idiotic friend since high school, was held in a painful looking headlock by none other than Sawamura Daichi. 

“What have I told you about being such a moron?” Sawamura growled as his headlock seemed to turn tighter around Bokuto’s neck, judging by the way Bokuto winced.

“I wasn’t being a moron. I just wanted to make fudge.” Bokuto’s voice was raspy, while his hands were clinging to Sawamura’s arm, trying, and failing, to pull off the arm cutting off his oxygen supply. 

“YOU DO NOT COOK FUDGE.”

Kuroo gave a loud cough, all the attention in the room focusing on him now.

“Well then. This looks like a mess.  
\-----

“He’s making fudge for our drug dealer?” Sawamura asked Kuroo, as he violently stared the cowering Bokuto down.

The smoke situation was quickly resolved with several smacks of a now charred towel, a sack of floor hey had lying around, and a toss out of the window to hide the evidence. Asahi was currently sitting in the corner, trying not to hyperventilate. Sawamura and Bokuto were sitting at opposite sides of the kitchen table, Kuroo sitting between them, with his normal armor of a pot as a helmet and a baking sheet as a shield. He had bought them for this specific purpose.

“Akaashi is a human with emotions like anyone else. I bet he will appreciate a gif of fudge.” Bokuto crossed his arms and pouted, obviously not understanding how stupid he sounded.

“He threw one of your gifts out a third story window. It fell into a trash can. He didn’t say sorry. He just said oops.” Sawamura said all of this slowly, as if it would actually make Bokuto use his brain if he said it at a snail’s pace.

“I told him that this morning.” Sawamura stopped glaring at Bokuto to turn his gaze to Kuroo, eyes gone to a complete blank.

“So you mean you saw him pour fudge in our toaster.” He said through gritted teeth. Any noise instantly seemed to stop, even Asahi’s deep breathing. Kuroo felt as if there was an oppressive weight on his shoulders, Sawamura’s stare slowly turning into a death glare.

“Heh, well you see Sawamura. Well, you know I’d love to answer that question b-but well…” All three pairs of eyes in the room were on him now, and he couldn’t control the nervous smile on his face.

“Kuroo.”

“I GOT WORK, SEE YA GUYS.” Kuroo stood up as quick as he could, dropping his armor. He ran to the door, opening it and slamming it behind him as he made a run for it.

He could hear Sawamura’s howls from down the hall. Maybe he’ll be calmer when Kuroo comes back.

Hopefully.  
\-----  
“Be prepared for my funeral, because I’m dead.” Was the first thing Kuroo said as he talked into the back room of the bar he worked at. 

“Yeah, I know, y hair looks great today. Thanks.” Oikawa Tooru said, his coworker, much to his hatred. 

“I didn’t say anything about your hair.” Kuroo rolled his eyes and resisted the urge to punch Oikawa while putting his jacket away.

“Oh really? I didn’t notice.” Oikawa looked at him before returning back to the mirror on the door.

“Really, how has someone not punched you in the face yet?” Kuroo mumbled before leaving the back room and entering the actual bar. If there was one thing Kuroo was good at, other than being awesome, bar tending was it. He worked quickly and efficiently, much to the owner’s pleasure, while being able to hold conversations with everyone and anyone. He was just that awesome. 

Especially when there was no one actually here. Really, Kuroo hated the afternoon shift. Barely anyone goes out to bar at 5 in the afternoon. So he stood behind the bar, washing glasses and serving the occasional poor looking bastard that ambled in.

About three hours later, business had finally picked up. Kuroo was whirring around the bar, serving one customer after another. He enjoyed working at this nightclub, he enjoyed talk to people and impressing them with the tricks he could do. Oikawa had finally joined him at one point, being the normal attention lover that he was.

“Kenma, put down the game. We didn’t come here for you to play more video games.” Kuroo turned his head towards the direction of the voice. It was Kozume Kenma. The exact one he had a not obsessive crush on. 

He was pouting at a red headed boy, one that was even shorter than Kozume. The red head held a 3DS protective in his grasp, keeping it away from Kozume, who was reaching for it in an almost childlike way.

“Shouyou, please.” Kozume was pouting in such a cute way, that he could ask Kuroo to kill a man he would do it, much less give him back a 3DS.

“Kenma, no. We’re here to have fun, not for you to do what you always do at the dorms.” 

“So why don’t you give me my game back, and I got to the dorms?”

The red head apparently named Shouyou groaned before plopping down at one of the bar stools, Kozume sitting next to him. Kuroo nearly cheered when he noticed they were sitting in his area instead of Oikawa’s.

“Can we get two shots of tequila?” Shouyou asked him.

“Sure, but I kind of need to see ID first.” Kuroo chuckled as he turned towards them.

“We’re both legal ago though.” Shouyou said, pouting at Kuroo. Kozume only shrugged, not interested in the conversation at all.

“And you’re both a little on the, uh. Short. Side.” Kuroo smirked at the red headed shortie, whose pout only grew poutier. He reached into his pocket, probably to pull out his wallet, and nudged Kozume to do the same. They both pulled out their IDs and handed them over to Kuroo. An idea popped into Kuroo’s head. It was finally a chance for him to talk to Kozume. Finally. Finallllllyyy.

“Kozume Kenma?” He asked in a way that he hoped sounded surprised, but it was quite possible that he sounded incredibly pathetic. The blond nodded looking at Kuroo confused, while the red head looked between the both of them, surprise written on his face. He looked a bit like an overwhelmed puppy.

“We go to the same college. You’re in my philosophy class.” Kuroo felt like getting on his knees and praying that Kozume remembered him, otherwise the plan would be a bust. Kozume looked at him in a daze, as if going through his memoires for Kuroo’s face, until he seemed to lighten in remembrance the tiniest bit.

“Oh. Yeah, I know you.” Kuroo grinned at him before offering his head.

“Kuroo Tetsurou.” Kozume looked at his hand before shaking it awkwardly, then drawing his hand back right away.

“And I’m Hinata Shouyou.” The red head popped back into Kuroo’s line of sight and give him a big smile. “I’m Kenma’s best friend.”

“Who needs friends when they take your 3DS.” Kenma grumbled under his breath loud enough for Kuroo to hear. Kuroo laughed under his breath as he turned to get them their shots.

“You need friends because you would never leave you dorm otherwise.”

When Kuroo turned back to give them their drinks, Hinata was pulling on Kozume’s arm, trying to pull the boy off of the stool. Kuroo placed the two glasses in front of them, wondering what Hinata was trying to pull off.

“Kenma come onnnnnnn. Let’s go danceeeee.”

“I don’t dance.” Kozume said as he picked up the glass and… well, all Kuroo could describe was sniff at it. Kenma actually sniffed his drink. Hinata, on the other hand, drowned the shot then stared Kozume down intensely.

“You are not getting High School Musical on me, oh no. You’re going to stop sniffing your drink and actually drink it. You’re going to join me on the dance floor, then we’re going to dance our hearts out and get wasted till we puke.” Hinata and Kozume stared each other right in the eyes, seemingly at each other’s throats.

It seemed that they would sit there for hours staring each other down. Or at least until Kuroo had to kick them out. Yet Kozume blinked and Hinata cheered, so Kuroo just assumed that this was some special, short person ritual of theirs. Kozume groaned and grabbed the shot. He gave Hinata a pouty look before drinking the tequila. Hinata cheered a bit too loud, even for a club, then pulled Kozume on the already packed dance floor.

But Kuroo didn’t pay much attention to that. What he was paying attention to, was the fact that this gave him a potential reason to talk to Kozume. Kuroo was finally given a chance.

Hallelujah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the whole point of this was making Akaashi a drug dealer. there was no other point.  
> this is unedited as fuck because i currently don't have anyone to read my stuff, so if you see a mistake and you wanna let me know, please do so. thanks for reading- morgan


	2. The Couch Was Banned for Sleeping a Long Time Ago

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We finally meet the drug dealer, Kuroo somewhat hates his life.

Kuroo was tired of sleeping in weird places in his apartment. He wished for once, just once, he could spend a night in his bed, his back sinking into plush goodness, his comforter pulled around his shoulders keeping his warmth inside to himself.

No, instead he found himself in a struggle of a mixture of problems that prevented him from sleeping in his own damn bed for once, which is why he had an emergency blanket and pillow stashed in every room. They were quite useful. Some nights he had to hide from Sawamura, fear of getting yelled to death settled deep into his bones. Or slaughtered. He was afraid of that too.

Other nights his bed was taken over by Bokuto, who had mistakenly thought Kuroo's bed was his own bed. And Kuroo didn't even want to risk a night sleeping in Bokuto's bed. He preferred not getting his toes nibbled on by some unknown force like what happened last time.

One time it was because his room, and his room alone, decided to be flooded with lemonade. And by decided, he meant Bokuto thought it would be a funny prank to fill Kuroo's room with lemonade.

It was not a funny prank.

Bokuto had no eyebrows the day after.

Yet this time it was none of those mishaps and misfortunes keeping Kuroo out of the safety and warmth of his own bed. This time it was his own fault. Simply meaning, he locked himself out of his fucking room.

Half the reason he wanted to rent out this specific apartment was because of the fact he could lock his own damn door. It wasn't because he had to hide anything. Much. He just preferred the sense of security locking his door gave him. It made him feel better when he went to sleep in his own room, and more like he could leave his stuff around the room with no worries. His roommates still always found some way into his room when they needed to snoop, or prank, or try to murder him, yet to the general public, his room was his own room.

Until he fucking locked himself out of it. The door locked from the inside, as most normal indoor doors do. And as most normal people do, they exit rooms from said door, leaving it available to reenter later in time. Unlike most normal people, they didn't live with three different breeds of psychopaths, four if he was to include himself.

That faithful, amazing Wednesday Kuroo had come back from his shift at the bar, he had hoped that Sawamura would be in a better mood. Maybe he would go see his boyfriend Suga, or go play volleyball with the rest of the school team, or finally take some of the anger management sessions Kuroo had paid for as a Christmas present to him. No, instead Kuroo came home to a barrage of screams, howls, hoots, and tears.

This time without smoke filling the apartment. For once.  
Bokuto had now hid himself in the corner, hooting where he felt appropriate while Sawamura sat in front of the TV, almost demonic in the intensity of his focus on the television. Asahi was nowhere to be seen, and that only reinforced the idea that he was the smartest out of any of them.

Kuroo decided to play his role of the sneaky cat, and tried to pull a fast one on Sawamura. Which would've worked until Bokuto started fucking hooting like crazy the moment he saw Kuroo. Which led to Sawamura turning his head at a speed that probably should've given him whiplash. He even heard a door crack open and he could see Asahi peeking out from the corner of his eye.

The situation had become very, very, very intense. This time Kuroo did not have his normal pot and baking shield protection. He knew he would have to engage in good, old fashioned fisticuffs with Sawamura. Man to man. Maybe he could even persuade Sawamura to a duel, 20 paces away, old fashioned outfits, and mustaches included.

Or he could just run away to his room and barricade the door. Which is what he had decided was the best plan of action in the end. His whole entire dresser was pushed in front of the door, meant to keep the crazy one out, and keep him safe. It would work. Or at least he hoped it would work.

By the time he had barricade the door, he was much too tired to do much else. The excitement of actually being able to talk to Kozume had happened to leave him with that pleasant after tingle of an emotional high, and all the bar tending had left him drained. Not to mention it was two in the morning. He did what any normal person would do and turned off the lights, falling asleep on his comfortable, warm bed to the sounds of pounding on his door and panicky hoots.

Of course, the next afternoon, sometime around two an hour before his first class of the day started, he wasn't sure if he could escape his room without settling off World War Sawamura, so he did the only logical thing he could think of.

He went out the window. They were only on the second floor, and there was a fire escape system set up right outside his window. He could slip out without Sawamura noticing his disappearance, and Sawamura was never mad for more than 20 hours. So he climbed out his window, making sure it was locked behind him.

\-----  
Kuroo felt incredibly accomplished today. For once he had actually paid attention in all of his classes for the day, and he even went to the library to study. Sure half the library time was flicking paper at Iwaizumi Hajime, his lab partner and somehow Oikawa's boyfriend, but it was the thought of him actually bringing himself to the building that counts. Especially since he only just realized his college had a library a week ago.

Yet there was a bounce in his step as he walked to his apartment, happy with his achievements, or the semblance of achievements his brain has provided. He stopped in front of apartment and took out his key, opening the door to the smell of weed and the sound of fans. Nearly every window in the apartment was open and the fans were all on full blast. Obviously a Bokuto has passed by recently. He checked the living room and kitchen, only to find no trace of his idiotic friend.

This is when Kuroo's luck has decided that it would just bite him in the ass because for some reason it deemed Kuroo the worst person in the world and that Kuroo should be tortured in any possible way.

He walked over to Bokuto's door and knocked. Getting no response, he decided to actually check inside the room. The last time Bokuto was allowed to get high alone, he stared out the window for five hours and when the rest of the roommates got back he was commenting on how pretty the fish looked. Kuroo opened the door and flicked on the lights, ready to tell Bokuto that fish do not live in windows and that weed does not make people hallucinate.

"OH FUCKING HELL THAT IS NOT WHAT I WANTED TO SEE." Kuroo flipped off the lights and slammed the door, running away as fast as he could. “PUT A FUCKING SOCK ON THE DOORKNOB AT LEAST.”

Somehow, some way, probably through illegal means, Bokuto managed to hook up with their drug dealer.

\-----

It was not everyday that Kuroo sat next to his drug dealer sipping tea. It was never actually. He never sat next to his drug dealer on his couch drinking tea.

Akaashi Keiji was perhaps the prettiest person Kuroo had ever seen, despite the whole sorta punk thing he had going on. He didn't know who could pull off eyebrow, lip, and multiple ear piercings yet look like a high class model the whole time. Even the two sleeves of tattoos peeking out under his tight black shirt didn't put Kuroo off. He didn't actually blame Bokuto for wanting to get with him. The guy was hot.

"You look stupid shocked." If it wasn't for Akaashi's bluntness. Kuroo had rarely ever seen Akaashi's face out of his normal apathetic nature, though he didn’t see Akaashi out of drug deals much. You don't really get all buddy buddy with someone who sells you drugs.

He felt very very awkward as they both stared at the TV, Bokuto going out to get take-out food from the little shop down the street. Akaashi didn't deem it necessary to leave for some reason, so they were now sitting next to each other while Kuroo was hating his existence. He didn’t like awkward situations, he was awkward enough for himself.

"I fucking told you guys stop smo-." The front door opened and Sawamura stopped talking right away the minute he saw the two figures on the couch. He looked at the both of them. Then he looked at Kuroo, then Akaashi, then at the ceiling before sighing.

"Why is our drug dealer sitting on the couch?" He pointed at Akaashi who only gave a little wave back. At least he was friendly?

"Bokuto finally hooked up with him." Kuroo wasn't sure how else to explain Akaashi's presence in the apartment, but Akaashi didn't seem to have any problems with his explanation. He just nodded in agreement with Kuroo, not saying a thing.

"Why?" Was Sawamura's only response.

"Yeah I was wondering that too." Kuroo asked, turning to Akaashi. It was Bokuto of all people. Akaashi normally rejected Bokuto. Akaashi seemed to stare off into the distance, as if he was thinking about his own reasoning and response.

"Well I quite liked the fudge he got me." The room was quiet for a full five minutes, both Kuroo and Sawamura turning over this information in their heads. The fudge? Really?

"That's it fudge is banned from this apartment for the rest of ever." Sawamura walked to the kitchen, acting as if he wasn't raising hell the day before because of the fudge. "Do you guys know what's for dinner?"

"The idiotic owl went to go get take out. He left like twenty minutes ago." Kuroo screamed back, feeling more and more uncomfortable. He did not know how to handle this type of situation, and it was starting to short circuit. How does one talk to their drug dealer who they just caught fucking their best friend? Do you talk about the weather, or the state of the economy?

"That is fucking great." The room was left in another state of silence other than the sounds of the TV and Sawamura moving around in the kitchen. He really hoped that loud slam didn’t break the fridge door Kuroo was left contemplating what he had seen a half an hour ago. He was really surprised that Bokuto somehow, someway, got Akaashi. The boy didn't seem to care about anything half the time, and he seemed to have only two facial expressions. Apathetic and exasperated doneness. Well now Kuroo had moaning in pleasure to add to the list, a face he didn't really care to see in the first place.

"So uh. What are you majoring in?" It was the only common point Kuroo could think to ask at this point. Akaashi did go to school here, he knew that.

"Law enforcement." Kuroo stared at him in shock. He’s selling drugs, but he plans to go into a job where he arrests people. What the fuck? All of a sudden Akaashi chuckled and grinned at Kuroo, another face Kuroo didn't know he could make. "No, I'm just joking. I'm majoring in language and literature. I want to finish my first novel and get it published in the next few years. Strange, huh?" Kuroo wasn't sure about how he felt about this answer, but he had to admit Akaashi could be funny. He felt more comfortable now as he laughed at Akaashi's dry humor. Kuroo looked over Akaashi again before stopping to look at his arms.

"I have to ask, where did you get your tattoos done?" He nodded his arms towards the sleeves Akaashi had done. Most of them were done in muted colors, but he could see a cascading waterfall that went from underneath Akaashi’s sleeve to a little past his elbow. 

"Oh these? There's a small tattoo shop more downtown called Scotch's. They have a lot of good tattoo artists." Akaashi turned his arms around for Kuroo to see, then he pulled the collar of the right side of his shirt to show a flying owl tattoo. “I really like their work. They did my piercings too. Even the ones on my hip.”

“You have piercings on your hip?”

“Yup.” Akaashi lifted his shirt to show off piercings on both sides of his hips. They were silver and shining against his skin.

“Fuck, that’s hot.” Kuroo kept his eyes on Akaashi’s piercings as Akaashi lowered his shirt down. He looked up and grinned at Akaashi.

“I know.” He shrugged his shoulders, a small smirk on his face. Kuroo tallied this up to another face he’s seen from Akaashi.

"Anyway, judging from yours, I would say so. I use to go to one called Ink and Switch but it closed down because of some drug bust or another. I'm not sure, but I've had a tattoo design I've been wanting to get on my back and I could never find a place that I liked." Akaashi nodded before side eyeing him.

"You have tattoos? Can I see?" Kuroo chuckled before pulling off his hoodie and T-shirt, showing Akaashi his back.

"I started when getting them several years ago and I haven't been able to stop getting them since. It's been a bitch not being able to get one for a while." Spanning the top half of Kuroo's back was an intricate geometric tattoo. Kuroo's arms were also filled with tattoos just like Akaashi's, though they went down to his lower arm instead of stopping around his elbows. "I want another geometric design on the lower half of my back." Akaashi nodded, impressed by the tattoos on Kuroo. They were pretty amazingly looking. And it helped that Kuroo had a really nice back. They seemed to be bonding over their common interest.

Of course until Bokuto's opened the door to a half-naked, smirking Kuroo with the love of his life checking out his back. Was that Akaashi’s hands on his back too? Yes they fucking were.

The screaming did not stop until Sawamura came in with the bat Kuroo and Bokuto had nicknamed 'Old Hit You in the Face and Shut Up'.

\-----

Dinner was a quiet and somewhat (very) awkward event after explaining the situation to Bokuto. Well, Bokuto still stared at Kuroo with fury in his eyes, ready to murder him the moment Kuroo looked at Akaashi the wrong way.

Asahi had come in at some point during Bokuto's fight for Akaashi's honor and Kuroo's fight for his fucking life. He was still in the corner hyperventilating. Twice in 24 hours, it was a new record.

Akaashi pretended that nothing about the situation was weird or strange, whatsoever. He just sat there and ate his food, answering whatever questions came his way. Kuroo wasn't even sure if he was telling the truth the whole time or not, but he wasn't going to question Akaashi with the looming threat of a crazy owl attacking his corneas.

Kuroo had decided to reuse his pot and baking sheet shield armor, holding the baking sheet in one hand and the fork he decided to use in the other, almost like a sword.

Sawamura had adopted the ultimate persona of passive aggressive angry father. Sugawara Koushi, Sawamura's amazing boyfriend who was basically a devious angel on earth, decided to join them that night. Normally when Suga was around, Sawamura turned into the mushy boyfriend, googly eyes at all, but even Suga couldn't save anyone today.

Bokuto sat next to Akaashi, looking at him as if Akaashi was an other-worldly, ethereal being, which, in Bokuto's mind, what he probably convinced himself that Akaashi actually was.

The dinner was very tense, to say the least. Suga tried to be the graceful mother of it all and asked Akaashi questions about what he liked and what he did, but the drug dealer would only respond in one or two word answers. Kuroo was so grateful for his chance to escape the horribleness of the day when dinner was finished, he rushed to his room right away.

Only to find he couldn't open the door. No matter how hard he pushed on the door, it wouldn't budge at all.

"Guys. My door won't open." He yelled out to the rest of them, hoping someone would help. Sawamura was the first to try and push the door open, not even moving it an inch. Suga tried next, but if Sawamura couldn't get it open, Kuroo had no idea how Suga would. Unless he talked the door into opening. He was pretty sure Suga could do that.

Bokuto tried next, slamming his body into the door, pushing with all his might to open it. He only ended up with a headache. Akaashi barely tried, pushing his hand on the door and giving up after a second. Asahi didn't get anywhere either, pushing for a minute without any achievements.

"Did you do anything that would block the door?" Suga asked him, staring at the door.

Kuroo stared at the door before groaning."I moved my fucking dresser in front of the fucking dooooorrr."

Everyone looked at him, mystified about how he could be stupider than Bokuto for once. And then everyone pretty much decided it wasn't their problem and left Kuroo to wallow in his own worries.

Which is why Kuroo is sleeping in the bath tub tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this wasn't suppsed to go for more than two chapters. more than twooo chapters. but i saw how the first chapter did, and i decided welp this story is going on for longer. neko-donut on tumblr had suggested punk Akaashi which i love, so thank you. this is also very very unedited.  
> thank youuu


	3. The Fates Normally Punch Kuroo in the Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo doesn't dick things up. Completely. He also finds out the existence of neon flannel. His fate in humanity is questioned because of that.

Kuroo hated mornings. A lot. Like if he could get rid of mornings for the rest of his life, but he would have to cut off three of his toes, he wouldn’t have a foot anymore. It was worth it to get rid of mornings. 

Coffee was the only thing that ever kept him alive. As any other poor soul in college, Kuroo had five to four hours of sleep daily. Five and a half if he was lucky. And if he was really lucky, those four to five hours weren’t interrupted by random hoots, and floating thoughts of forgetting to finish his history projects.

And his night spent in the bathtub did not do him too well. That and the fact Suga decided to spend the night. And when Suga spends the night, no one ever gets too much sleep. Unless they practically liked falling asleep to the sounds of loud moaning and the creaking bed hitting the wall. Whatever disturbing fuck they were.

Thank god Akaashi had decided to go home after dinner. The noises would’ve been twice as bad.

Bokuto currently found himself on the top of the kitchen table, well into a deep sleep now that the noises were finally over. Asahi sat across the table from Kuroo, staring into the deep, dark void in shock, trying to forget everything he’s heard in the last few hours. His room was right next to Sawamura’s, the poor soul. And the lover birds were currently making breakfast for the rest of them. Still acting lovely dovey. It was so sickeningly sweet, it made Kuroo want to throw up.

Kuroo’s third cup of coffee couldn’t even keep him awake enough for this bullshit. He ate the omelet that was given to him by the world’s most touchy couple, moving Bokuto’s arm away from his glass of orange juice.

It was one of the most normal Saturdays he has ever had.

He was grateful when he could finally leave the room. He felt nearly suffocated by the amount of love and affection that was blooming in that goddamn room. It made him feel gross. Why wasn’t that him with Kozume? 

His room was still unfortunately locked, so it meant he would have to do something he has never wanted to do, something way too drastic, even for him. Wear Bokuto’s clothes.  
Asahi was too board and Sawamura too short. Bokuto was closest to him in size but. Well. His clothes were a trashy mix of stoner and raver clothing. All the flannels and neon were not good for anyone’s eyes. Unless they wanted to go blind. 

The minute Kuroo opened Bokuto’s closet door, he cringed. The whole damn room practically smelled of weed, he was hoping the closet wouldn't. Or at least maybe a little less. But you can’t expect much out of Bokuto, can you?

Kuroo shifted through the closet, tempted to throw out every neon thing he saw. He had nearly given up and ran to get the matches to burn the whole dammed room down when he found the neon flannel. God really had given up on Bokuto. He finally found a plain black shirt and jeans just a wee bit too short, but not much of a worry.

He got dressed and quickly said bye to everyone in the apartment, or in Bokuto’s case hit his head. He grabbed his leather jacket and backpack, which he took out of the room with his window escape, and left for the day.   
\-----  
He had decided to sign up for a Saturday class at some point in his college life, and he wasn’t sure if he hated himself for it or not. It was an Anthropology course, so of course it was interesting to Kuroo. But it could’ve been an hour spent planning a party or getting high or blah, blah, blah. It didn't matter what he was supposed to be doing during the hour, it was the fact that he had another hour free of his day.

The best thing about the class was the fact that the only normal friend he has, or ever had, was in the class, Yaku Morisuke. And when Kuroo says normal friend, well comparing to his other friends, it didn’t take much to achieve that title. The class was interesting, nothing he would be freaking out about, but it was able to get and keep his attention for the whole time. Perhaps because his adorable crush wasn’t here. When the class officially ended, he was glad to get up and stretch. He hated sitting in one place for too long.

“Yo Morisuke, wanna go get lunch? I’m hungry and I actually have money this time.” He smiled at his friend while grabbing his things and shoving the papers in his bag.

“Sure, you already owe me your entire bar tab. I’d love if you actually started to pay me back before we’re in retirement homes.” Yaku told Kuroo, smirking at him.

“Yeah, don’t remind me.”  
\-----

“So of course, I had to tell the guy that my hair wasn’t a cat, and he started bawling. And just imagine the whole scene. We’re in bed and he’s crying his head off because my hair isn’t a fucking cat while I can feel his dick go soft inside me. Sexiest night ever.” Yaku and Kuroo laughed at Kuroo’s story, enjoying their time together. They had found a cheap burger place to eat at and after ordering lunch, they sat down to talk. Which only led to drunk sex stories.

“It’s better than my first time with Lev. You know how my bed is like, in that hole in the wall? Yeah, he banged his head on the ceiling at least five times. And each time he hit his head he just kept on going. The whole time he was a drunken slur of ‘Fuck, babe you’re so tight’, and ‘Shit that hurt my head.’” This time they were in such a fit of laughter, Kuroo nearly fell on the floor and knocked over the table. And the amount of stares they were getting was not because of how attractive Kuroo thought he looked laughing, no matter what he liked to believe.

“How are you and Lev doing lately, anyway?” Habia Lev was Yaku’s current boyfriend. The two of them together was perhaps one of the funniest combinations of people in a relationship Kuroo has ever seen. Lev was a 198.2 cm mess of long limbs and inelegance, while Yaku was a 165 cm mass of terrifying mother that could kill you with a glare. They almost fit together in an incredibly odd way Kuroo could not describe with words. Maybe sounds would work. Like ka-boom. Ka-boom seemed to work.

“Ugh, he’s such an idiot sometimes. A few days ago he got me daises and I started to tear up. He started freaking out, thinking he upset me or something along those lines, when the idiot just forgot I’m allergic to daises. God I love him.” Kuroo was also fond of their ridiculous stores that Yaku would always tell him. “But enough about me and the moron I call my boyfriend. How about you and that creepy, obsessive crush you have on the person in your philosophy class?”

“It’s not a creepy obsessive crush. Like I said before, it is an appreciation of his wonderful, adorable aesthetic. So yes, I may happen to glance at his general direction from time to time in class. That, in no way whatsoever, means I have an obsessive crush on him.”

Yaku stared at Kuroo for a few seconds before asking, “So how’s your creepy, obsessive crush on him?”

Kuroo sighed. He never wins.

“I actually talked to him for once.” Kuroo bounced in his seat, proud of himself.

“You, meaning you, the dork supreme who can’t talk to the absolute crush of his life without passing out and making a fool of himself like he once did that one time in high school with that really hot third year baseball player, actually talked to someone who’s, and I quote, ‘aesthetic you appreciate’ end quote.”

“Ye.”

“How in the everlasting hell did you manage to actually do that?” he asked, slapping a hand over his mouth. Was it really that surprising? Yeah. Yeah it was.

“He came with his friend, Hinata I think, during my shift at the bar.” Kuroo pretty much jumped of his seat with joying telling Yaku this.

“And what did you guys talk about?”

“Uh… Well he knows my name now. That’s a start. Isn’t it?”

“Ah. That’s what I thought.” Yaku sighed and leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms at Kuroo’s near pathetic look. 

“It was still a good start.” Kuroo said without a pout. Kuroo Tetsurou does not pout. At all.

“For you? It is a fucking miracle. If he didn’t go to the bar the day you were working, you would have never grow the balls to ever talk to him.” Yaku said with a chuckle. He was always so truthful.

“Well you know what,” he paused, “That is probably true. Completely. But fate has decided to send Kozume Kenma to my bar during my shift because fate wants us to hook up and let me appreciate his aesthetic closer, and maybe let me hug him and kiss his face and make him breakfast and sit around and watch movies with him, and yeah.”

“I’m glad for you. Don’t screw it up like you tend to though.” Yaku said getting up and gathering his trash.

“I’m really going to try not to. I have until next Thursday to get myself ready. Where you headed after this?” Kuroo asked, getting up as well.

“I’ve got work at the bookstore. My boss keep increasing my hours, and one of my coworkers got sick. You?”

“I’m going to check out this tattoo shop Akaashi told me about a few days ago.”

“Isn’t Akaashi our drug dealer?” Yaku deadpanned.

“Long, annoying story short, Bokuto somehow managed to hook up with him through the usage of fudge that almost burned down our apartment, and he stayed over for dinner. Sawamura almost killed me.”

Yaku stared at Kuroo.

“But you don’t even cook fudge.” He whispered under his breathe.

“You try telling the boy that and getting him to listen.” Kuroo shrugged as they walked out.

“Whatever. See you at the party tonight.” Yaku waved and turned down the street.

“Yeah, see ya man.” Kuroo turned the other way, totally pumped and excited. He had forgotten about the huge party Nishinoya Yuu and Ryuunosuke Tanaka were throwing tonight. They always threw the best parties, after his, and they even found an abandoned warehouse and the whole shebang. It was gonna be wild.

But now Kuroo had to fund the tattoo shop. Kuroo wracked his brain, trying to remember the name of the shop. Stitch’s? No Scotch’s. It was called Scotch’s.

Kuroo typed the name of the shop in his phone’s GPS, because as stupid as he is, he didn’t bother to plan out his day, and doesn’t think about exactly how far the tattoo shop could actually be. His phone quickly told him he would have to take the subway to get even further down town.

Kuroo walked to the closest subway entrance and made his way down to the dark underground. Paying the fee for his ticket and swiping it through the gate, he took in a deep breath. And he cringed in regret. The subways were not meant to smell or look pretty. The smell was like a mix of piss and every single horrible, nasty smelling thing you can think of. It wasn’t pleasant.

Yet the subway was one of Kuroo’s favorite places to be. Maybe it was how everyone was here, sitting together to get where they needed to go. Maybe it was the fact he could listen to music, not having anyone to bother him at all. He also didn’t feel the urge to punch himself in the face, like he did when he was around, say, Bokuto.

Whatever it was, Kuroo loved it. He walked down to his platform, waiting for the subway. He could feel like something good was about to happen in his bones. He just didn’t know what.

Or of course, it could’ve just been the train pulling up to the platform.

\-----

The tattoo shop wasn’t that far from the subway station. He just had to walk for a few blocks and he was in front of a little, hole in the wall, grungeish shop.

He walked into the shop, the little chime going off as he walked in. The person manning the front desk had their back turned away from Kuroo, shuffling through some papers in a drawer. He could tell that they were pretty short, and had pretty, blonde hair tied back into a pony tail.

Kuroo turned towards the side wall of the shop, checking out the artwork displayed on it. Judging from all the sketches and pictures, he would totally find someone with a style he liked. The drawings were all amazing, and he could see a lot of was put into them.

“Uh, hello. Can I help you?” he heard a small voice ask. He turned to the front desk, but paused in near shock at who he saw.

“Kozume?” The fates were playing with him and he was ready to find wherever they are and punch them all in the fucking face. He was not ready to talk to Kozume yet. He needed at least till Thursday. Maybe the Thursday after that. Probably the one after actually.

“Kuroo?” Kozume had a shocked, wide eyed look on shock face, akin to a kitten getting caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to do.

“You work here?” Kuroo walked closer to the counter, trying his hardest to keep standing and not pass out. He could feel himself sway to the side, this was not good.

“Uh, well. I’m in an apprenticeship right now actually.” Kozume looked somewhat shy talking to Kuroo, almost as if he was unintentionally trying to mix an apathetic speech pattern with unsureness.

“Wow. That’s like, really cool. I’d never imagine you as the type to do tattoos. Or even like tattoos. You’re normally so quiet, I would never think you’d like something so punkish I guess.” Kuroo wanted to shove his whole entire fucking foot into his ass at the awkward pause that followed his incredibly stupid speaking. It was already in his damn mouth, what’s another hole?

“Well I do. I guess. What do you need?” Kuroo shifted side to side, hands shoved deep in his sweater pockets. He looked uncomfortable, and Kuroo hated that.

“Oh, I’m looking for a new place to get a tattoo I’ve been wanting to add for a while but my normal shop got closed down for a drug bust, and my drug dealer had a bunch of cool tattoos and he told me he got them here so I decided to check this place out and. You know. Here I am. Wooh.” Kuroo was going to go and freaking throw himself too Sawamura with a note saying that he was the one who turned all of his white clothes pink. That would be easier than this.

“Oh. Okay. Uh, everyone is in the back working. Or isn’t here. Sorry.” Kenma looked towards the back, where Kuroo could see people working.

“Oh, okay.” Kuroo hated the awkward feeling the silence left them in.

“But would you like to look through some of the portfolios?”

Kuroo nodded, begging himself not to fuck stuff up any more. “Do you have anyone that is good at geometric tattoos?”

Kozume nodded before pulling out a binder from behind the counter. He placed the binder in front of Kuroo and opened to the first page. Kuroo looked through the pages, impressed by the designs drawn and the photos of actual tattoos he saw.

“Wow these are great. Who did them?” Kuroo looked up at the kitten- he meant Kozume, shit.

“Me. I’ve been here for a year and so. I’ve had some practice.”

“Showing me your work first? Impressive.” Kuroo do not dick this up for Pete’s sake. Do not dick this up Kuroo Tetsurou.

Kozume blushed and looked at his feet. “No, I’m the only one who does geometric designs at the moment. Well Chris does too sometimes. But it’s more my style. Would you like to look at his?” Kozume tried to look anywhere but Kuroo as he talked.

“Nah, it’s cool. I like your work a lot actually.”

“T-Thank you.”

“You are so good in fact, that I would like if you were the one to do my next tattoo. If that’s okay with you.” Kuroo was the one blushing this time, trying his hardest to stay cool.

“If you want. I can do Tuesday actually. Though you might want to check out the other artist’s work too.”

“No, I’m sure I picked the right choice. Plus you need the practice, right?”

“Well. I guess.”

“Then great. I can do next Tuesday.” Kuroo’s grin nearly broke his face in half with how happy he was.

“Is five okay?”

“Yes, absolutely.”

“Then just come in Tuesday at five. Do you have, uh, a design in mind?”

“Yeah, I actually brought it with me. Let me just get it out.” He opened up his backpack and tried pulling out his design before accidentally dropping his whole bag, all the papers spilling out.

“Shit, sorry, shit.” He got on the floor and tried gathering all his papers back up, bemoaning his fuck up. “Here this one. Sorry.” He placed it on the counter and slid the drawing over to Kozume. Kozume looked over it for a few seconds before nodding. “You can make any changes if you want. I trust you.”

“O-okay.” Now both Kozume’s and Kuroo’s faces were flushed red, and Kuroo had to hold himself back from jumping the counter and hugging him.

“Hey, did you hear about that huge party tonight? The one Nishinoya and Tanaka are throwing tonight?” Kuroo prayed that Kozume would say he was going. It was another chance. Maybe he wouldn’t be so stupid this time.

“Well. I have. I didn’t want to go. But Shouyou is making me. He still had my 3DS hostage.” Kuroo laughed as Kozume pouted. He felt as if he was walking on clouds.

“That’s great. I’ll see you there then. Later Kozume.” He turned to leaving, waving goodbye.

“You can call me Kenma. I don’t care much for the formality stuff.” Kuroo nearly passed out then and there, destroying what was the longest record of being able to talk to a crush of his without passing out. So far that record was twice. Both to the adorable boy he was talking to right now. He found the strength to turn his head back towards Kozum- he means Kenma, and smile.

“Okay. You can call me Tetsurou them. See you Kenma.”

“Goodbye, Tetsurou.”

Kuroo walked out of the shop, and once he was what he deemed an appropriate distance away, jumped and cheered in the middle of the goddamn street.

The fates were finally on his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *has anxiety about school without even going to school*  
> Hellooo. i am somehow actually getting chapters of this written. i think it's because i have no plan for this story whatsoever and all the words kinda just vomit themselves on the page. i've been writing this chapter out for the past 12 hours with minimum food and about 3 hours worth of sleep. thanks for reading. morgan out.


	4. Kuroo Is Quite Fluent In Bro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo likes his door, broisies is a real thing, and Asahi should never get drunk in a santa suit near plastic reindeer.

"You know, he's probably going to kill you when he comes back right?", was the first thing Kuroo heard when he opened the door to the apartment. Now normally in the apartment, if it was anyone going to kill anyone, it was Sawamura who was going to kill anyone. But it was Sawamura's voice that said 'he'. Not him, as in Sawamura himself. No, 'he' as in someone else. Not Sawamura who seemed to be in an ever present rage

Now he could be talking to either Asahi or Bokuto. And Asahi would never want to kill anyone and why would anyone even want to do anything to the lovable giant to actually make him want to kill someone. Neither would he do anything on purpose that would make anyone bother to kill and/or maim him. So that means it was Bokuto that was fucking shit up for someone else. Since 'he' most likely meant Kuroo, it was obvious that it was Kuroo. And it was Kuroo himself that was going to have to murder Bokuto for whatever fucking up he did.

"Oh no he won'ttttt."

Oh yes he fucking will.

Kuroo slammed the door behind him, alerting every one of his arrival and walked briskly towards their voices. He walked in only to see Sawamura, Bokuto, and Asahi standing in front of his bedroom door. Asahi seemed to be the only one in a state of panic, which wasn't any different than normal since he moved into the apartment. Sawamura looked at Kuroo with a near sarcastic smile and Bokuto just looked like. Well himself.

"Bokuto, what did you do?" Kuroo asked, hoping the damage wasn't too great.

"Dude, I opened your room." He beamed, proud of himself and his achievement.

"Really? Lemme see." Kuroo moved over to them in reluctance. He was happy that he could actually get into his room but something about Sawamura didn't let that happiness actually be reassuring.

Of course when he saw that his room didn't have a door anymore, he understood what Sawamura was smiling about. And the fact that his dresser was knocked over, clothes split out on the floor, the wood cracked. He found his door leaning to the side of it, and it didn't look like it was in a much better condition than the dresser either.

"Bokuto. Just exactly what did you do?" Kuroo ground out, trying to calm the rage that was slowly building up inside him.

"Well I kinda just hit the door until the hinges came loose and I could pull it out, and then I pushed over the dresser so you can get in. Isn't it great man?" He could see Asahi slowly going to take cover in his room, and Sawamura was standing off to the side, kinda happy that he wasn't the one about to blow a fuse out.

"Now please tell me. Why did you think that would ever be a good idea?" It took a lot to get Kuroo mad. He liked to consider himself the most level headed one out of everyone in the apartment. Sawamura was the most mature and was probably the most respectable, but he got angry at their antics quickly and tended to scary away new friends if he got mad at them. Asahi was the most sensible, and had his moments of great strength and admiralty, but more often than not all the chaos in the apartment pushed him to his anxiety breaking point. And Bokuto would have times where he came off as intelligent and well mannered, so you could really see how he would become a great lawyer one day as he was currently studying to be, but he was a stoner the other half of the time and a numbskull. Sure Kuroo tended to be a bit wild, and a bit dorky, but it took a lot to push him to his limits, which he was very proud of.

But right now, Bokuto was pushing him past the limits he had set up for himself. Like, who wouldn't be angry to see their door nearly broken, all of their clothing on the floor, and their dresser about to be snapped in half? If anyone could deal with that, they would have to be a goddamned saint. And Kuroo was anything but a saint. Nothing like a saint actually.

"I thought I could be all cool and hero like dude. Like you come home, see your room is all opened and shit. Be like 'Ahhh Bokuto you're my heroooo.' And then i dont know. Maybe get me beer and suck my dick. "

That response was the thing that snapped Kuroo. With a great howl he jumped Bokuto, teeth bared, claws out. If you were to ask Asahi, he would've compared it to a tiger's growl. If you asked Sawamura, it sounded more like a cat hissing.

"YOU FUCKING IDIOT. WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I WOULD FUCKING SUCK YOUR SMALL ASS DICK AFTER YOU BROKE MY GODDAMN DOOR YOU INSENSIBLE, BUG PICKING OWL." Kuroo wasn't even sure what he was screaming out anymore, but he knew that third punch to Bokuto's stomach felt particularly good to him. Maybe he hit his bladder, maybe it was his large intestine. Kuroo wasn't sure, but the feeling felt good otherwise.

It was probably at the point where Kuroo had grabbed the collar of Bokuto's shirt and started shaking him quite viciously while Bokuto just hooted in a nervous and teary mess that Sawamura pulled Kuroo off of him. Of course, Kuroo still tried to claw at him, hopeful to at least scratch up Bokuto's arms up a little more. Sawamura held on to him tight, dragging him away as Asahi helped Bokuto off the floor.

"Why would you think breaking down a door would be a fucking good idea?"

"I'm sorrrrrry bro. I just wanted to help." Bokuto sniffled out, scrubbing at the tears rolling down his face.

"And why didn't you stop him?" Kuroo asked, turning to Sawamura who only gave a sheepish grin.

"I would like to say it was pay back for the fudge, but no one was here to actually stop him. Asahi and I were out grocery shopping this time." Kuroo turned to Asahi, who rapidly nodded in agreement with Sawamura.

Kuroo stood still for a couple of seconds, practicing the deep breathing techniques Yaku had taught him at one point. The other three were silent, unsure if they should move away and leave Kuroo alone, or try to talk to him.

Instead Kuroo decided for them, as he picked up his door and backed up as slow as he could, leaning the door as it would be if it was actually attached. Then he slammed the wall since he couldn't slam the fucking door.

\-----

It had been an hour since Kuroo cleaned up his room and sat down on his bed to meditate the anger away.

He would have to get a new door and dresser, since the door was near snapping and the dresser was actually cracked in half when he moved it. He had to shift through the splintered wood to get all of his clothing, which were now in piles on the floor. None of the money would be out of his pocket, no, it was gonna all be outta Bokuto's including the money for the three splinters Kuroo now has.

Meditation was something Kuroo actually found joy in. He and Bokuto decided to try out a class randomly at their local gym one day. Bokuto couldn't bother to sit still for three seconds the whole time, and somewhere half way, was kicked out. Kuroo, for once, found a peace with himself. It was probably the most relaxing hour of his life since he began high school. Plus it helped the class was filled with attractive people. Attractive people always helped any situation.

So since then, Kuroo liked to meditate if he found himself particularly stressed, or if he had an hour to himself in the apartment. And judging by the quietness of the apartment, he had it to himself.

It had been a long time since any of them had actually seen Kuroo that angry. Kuroo liked to take things in stride, and try to make a bad situation okay. It was a talent of his to take the worse rainy days and make them seem as if the sun was coming out. So when anger struck him, it struck him bad, and normally left impressions on the people around him. It wasn't Sawamura's anger that was a near comforting source in the apartment, something that he would maybe miss a tiny bit if it was gone. No, his anger wasn't something anyone wanted to actually deal with, including Kuroo himself.

So meditating was always an answer for him. It was how he kept his zen.

He heard a small knock on the door, and the quiet hoot let him know it was Bokuto right away.

"Yes?" He answered, his tone still angry and tense.

"Kuroo?" Bokuto's response was quiet. So unlike him.

"Yes, Bokuto?"

"Can I, uh. Ope- Move the door?"

"If you have too." Kuroo saw the door be picked up and leaned against the wall next to the frame, Bokuto moving very slow, so he wouldn't anger Kuroo again. Kuroo noticed the black eye he was sporting, and the claw marks he may or may not have left on his arms.

"Bro?" Bokuto stood outside the room, arms behind his back with his eyes big and wide in sorrow.

"What do you want?"

"Well. I felt bad about breaking down your door and sorta trashing your room and breaking your stuff. And now I kinda have some bruises, and I think you may have dislocated my shoulder but that's okay. And I wanted to make it up to you. So I got you some broisies, bro. Cause you're my main bro." Bokuto pulled out a bouquet of daisies from behind his back. Only Bokuto could actually call them broisies while being completely serious about it.

Kuroo looked at Bokuto for a few moments, wondering why in hell he decided that faithful day in high school that Bokuto was going to be his best friend. He must've been high as hell because he was sure that he wouldn't have made that decision clear minded. But did he care? No, Bokuto was his main bro.

He held his arms wide open and grinned, to which Bokuto responded by running into his arms, dropping the daisies onto the bed next to them. They hugged for a good minute, relishing in their happy broness, and being bros together again.

Kuroo was never one to be in a rage too long, and he could never find himself angry at anyone for too long either. Especially the owl idiot he called his best friend.

"You know you're paying to replace my door and dresser though, right?"

"Damn."

\-----

Now that Bokuto and Kuroo were bros again, they had one very important task to complete.

Getting dressed for the party.

Being the big time hot shots for parties around the campus, they always had to look good wherever they went. It was just an unspoken rule that Bokuto and Kuroo were known as party people on campus. It may or may not have to do with the giant kegster they held within the first month of being there. They were hopped up on college fumes, they didn't know what they were doing.

It was from that point on they gained the reputation of being a bit wilder than they actually were. Everyone had these ideas of these cool, suave guys who partied hard and looked hot in their heads. If they only knew the truth was far off from the dream. To their close friends, Bokuto and Kuroo were both dorks that barely knew to function within normal human limits, and if they didn't have guidance and need for an energy source, they would live on caffeinated, sugary drinks, coffee, colorful cereal, and pop rocks alone.  
At the very least, Kuroo liked to believe that he has matured a little bit since his freshmen year. No longer were the weekends of all night partying, constant alcohol buzzes, and random hookups in the bathrooms of whatever establishment he was partying in for the night. Or at the very least, he didn't wake up with a hangover every single Monday. Only some. And he actually spent some weekend nights in instead of partying. That was something. He didn’t want to flunk out.

But today was his friends's party, so it meant he could go a little wild. Plus Nishinoya and Ryuunosuke threw wild ass parties where you couldn't leave without some fucked up story to tell when you're sobered up and you can remember where your pants are, who you had sex with, or why you were on top of the science building.

Kuroo shifted through the piles of clothes on the floor, trying to find the perfect outfit for the night. Kuroo had to look good, otherwise the image he took so many countless hours crafting while he was intoxicated would be thrown out the window.

After picking out the perfect party outfit of jeans that made his ass look great and a sleeveless shirt with a glow in the dark rib cage (that would probably be pulled off his body at some point), he picked up his door and walked out of his room, placing the door back in the frame. He was still pissed that he had to psychically pick up his door.

Walking out into the living room, he found Asahi sitting on the couch, switching through channels and eating popcorn. And he was dressed in My Little Pony pjs.

"Asahi what do you think you're doing?"

"Oh hey. Just settling for a night in." Asahi turned to look at Kuroo, a big smile on his face. Asahi had the type of smile that nearly seemed like it could light up the whole world if there was a blackout. Kuroo wasn't sure what it was about Asahi's smile, but he knew it was better than anyone else's. Okay, maybe not Suga’s. Suga’s was angelic. Or Kenma, but Kenma was something else.

"What do you mean a night in? There's a kick ass party going on tonight, there are no nights in when such kick ass parties thrown by kick ass people are being thrown. Even Sawamura, the grouchy pants is going." Kuroo picked up the near-by couch pillow and tapped Asahi on the head while he said what needed to be said.

"You know I'm not much of a party person Kuroo."

"Ohhhh says the guy who got amazeballs drunk at his first party and spent the rest of the time in a toga telling everyone to call him the party emperor." Kuroo remembered the good old days where Asahi was always up for a party and was perhaps the wildest one there. Okay, maybe he was forced to go to them. Asahi only blushed and felt like hiding his head in shame, unwilling to remember just how wild he tended to go his freshmen year of college. Asahi was normally never the party animal, but whenever he was forced to go to a party, and that first drink of alcohol passed his lips, he seemed to forget all of his morals and let loose and do really fucking stupid things. "Plus isn't Yuu throwing this party?"

Asahi blushed even darker after hearing the name, nodding a shy little nod and refocusing on the TV.

"Didn't you say something about asking him out after the last time you hooked up with him? Huh Asahi? Huhhhhhh?"

"Yeah I did, but it probably isn't a good idea anymore."

"Duuudddeee why not?" Asahi and Nishinoya were meant to be together, Kuroo knew it. Just because they only hooked up when they were smashed, and didn’t talk too much outside of parties without their friend’s guidance, doesn't mean that they wouldn't be perfect for each other. Nishinoya would be able to draw Asahi out of his shell while Asahi could bring Nishinoya down from his party highs. It was perfect and they were perfect for each other.

"I don't like parties. You know that."

"Asahi. Go get ready before I show everyone those pictures of what happened at the Christmas party last year." Asahi stopped flipping through the channels and looked at Kuroo in shock.

"You wouldn't."

"Oh you know I will."

"But I don't want to go Kuroo."

"You aren't wearing pants in half of the photos Asahi. Or underwear. Do you want photos of your ween around the campus. I'll put up posters everywhere." Kuroo was serious about this. He even knew a good printer place that would do it for him, half off. He may or may not have given one of the employees a blow job in the back office. Well, okay he did, but that guy was really hot, and they were just friends now.

"Ugh fine. But you're being rude." Asahi got up and walked to his room, unwilling to go tonight, but Kuroo didn't care. Bokuto ran into the living room, hooting loud and wild.

"WHO'S READY TO PARTYYYYYY?"

"I AM BITCHES." Kuroo screamed back. This was their normal pre party warm up that normally gave Sawamura a migraine.

"Why don't you idiots shut up and leave?" Sawamura said as he walked in and threw a pillow at Bokuto's head.

Tonight was going to be good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this isn't my best work, but it is work. my ears are currently stuffed and i feel like sleeping every hour on the hour but that isnt much different then normal. i cant see asahi as anything but a crazy drunk, and as normal this is terribly unedited. peace out -morgan


	5. The Party Gods Require A Pig On Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just fucking let loose and get drunk, man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first, i edited the first four chapters, so you may want to read back for new info and much more laughs  
> second, thank you for all the nice comments  
> third, there is a slight death mention at the very end, so just warning people. its at the very end though  
> fourth, to help myself get in the mood, i listened to a lot of edm and rave music, but there were two songs that are really important. with the part with Akaashi and Kenma, i suggest Kaskade- Atmosphere and when the party with Kuroo and Kenma, i was inspired by Axwell-Center Of The Universe

Kuroo wasn't sure what it was about parties that he loved the most. Maybe it was the loud music, so powerful you had to yell at the top of your lungs as the beat traveled through your body. Maybe it was the dancing, everyone giving up their insecurities to join on a dance floor and just let loose. Maybe it was the atmosphere, the feeling of fun, freedom, and not giving a shit about anything in particular. He wasn't sure what it was that made him love to party so much, but it was magical, he could say that. 

By the time the four of them had arrived to the party, it was well underway. They were blinded by the bright, colorful, strobing lights that occasionally lit up parts of the otherwise dim room. People were everywhere, on the dance floor, at the bar, sitting down at some old looking tables, just everywhere. The music's beat shook the room, people dancing in time with the electronic dance mix. 

The four of them had entered from stairs in the back of the building, leading them to a less packed walkway that was hung along the sides over the actual dance floor. From their view they could see everything below, even though the masses of people made it hard to detail much. But the party was there and it was already getting to Kuroo. 

Kuroo and Bokuto looked at each other, feeling like the 'swag' they thought they were while Sawamura and Asahi stood behind them, shaking their heads as the other two started doing their ' party cheers'. Sawamura wasn't sure where this habit had come from, but the 'oho oh ho's had become a tradition of theirs a long time ago, one that was incredibly annoying. When they were done with their embarrassing (though both denied it was embarrassing) handshake, Kuroo looked out at the crowds again. Palm trees decorated the floor, from what he could tell. And were those coconuts people were drinking out of? What the fuck?

"YAHOOOOOOOOO." Just as he was about to ask the others about the stranger details of the party, he heard a cheer from across the room. He checked to see a person on a rope that was attached to the ceiling swinging towards them, at an increasingly fast rate. Kuroo, as the genius he liked to consider himself to be, ducked just in the nick of time. Bokuto did not. 

The two figures collided, a loud 'umph' heard from the both of them. They landed in a heap on the floor as Kuroo laughed about 'What fucking idiots they were' while Sawamura chuckled in the background, Asahi nervous as normal. There was a rustling of limbs, and probably some body parts touching that should not be touching, until they finally were able to pull free of the other. 

"That was AWESOME." A small figure jumped up from the floor, settling in that normal 'feet spread wide, hands on waist in glory' pose. Nishinoya stood before Kuroo, donned in sunglass, leis, glow sticks, and a grass skirt over a speedo. Interesting. 

"THAT SO WAS BRO." Bokuto jumped up after him, Nishinoya and him going into endless high fives. Kuroo heard a rambling of 'Bro this party is sick' and 'Bro I so know' and 'Bro this is awesome' and more bros than Kuroo could keep track of. Honestly, how did he pick out these friends of all people in the world? 

"Well hello there, little bro." Kuroo patted Nishinoya on the back, chuckling at his antics. Until he got a lei and a handful of glow sticks thrown in his face.

"Party it up! Theme is Island Night. You can probably find some grass skirts lying around here somewhere or another." Nishinoya told them as he threw a lei and glow sticks at each of them, moving his hips in time with the beat. By the looks, and sound, of it he was already well on his way to intoxication. 

"Is that a pig on fire?" Sawamura asked, pointing to a pig on a roasting pit. So that's where the smell of smoke was coming from. Probably a fire hazard though. Kuroo took in every possible escape at the thought of that. 

"Don't worry, it's a fake pig." Nishinoya grinned, as if it was totally normal to have a fake pig on fire for a party. Maybe in his tiny, fucked up on parties world. 

"Okay, well, why do you have a fake pig on fire?" 

"Are you questioning the party gods and their need for a fake pig sacrifice, Daichi?" Nishinoya went closer to Sawamura, getting into his face and shaking his hands. "Are you?"

"Yeah, are ya?" Bokuto stood behind Nishinoya, acting as some body guard or something. Kuroo wasn't sure, Bokuto kinda just did whatever he thought fit for the moment. It was rarely ever appropriate, unless he was working on some practice case. Then he was scary accurate. 

"Please step away from me." Sawamura ordered, even with the included please. He pushed Nishinoya's forehead, pushing the boy away from him, then he took a step back. "Well, I can't say I'm not surprised. I'm just gonna go. See ya guys." He turned and walked away from them, probably to go find Suga so they could make out in some gross bathroom or something. Or in front of everyone. They did that sometimes too. 

"I'm gonna party on outta here for now, but I'll probs be seeing you guys later in the night. I mean I won't remember it tomorrow, but you know. Oh and Asahi?" He turned towards Asahi, who looked surprised at the boy's sudden attention. "I like your jeans. They show off..." Nishinoya looked up and down Asahi's legs, blatantly checking them out. "How fit you are in those jeans. Now see ya guys." With that he rushed and jumped, grabbing on to the rope that thank the heavens wasn't too far from the walkway, swinging this way and that while cheering. 

 

"So are you gonna go for him again, Asahi?" Kuroo slid next to the still trembling Asahi and patted him quite hard on the shoulder. 

 

"Oh no no no no no no noooooo." Asahi shook his head rapidly, rubbing where Kuroo had hit him on the shoulder. Asahi had explicit plans of not drinking again tonight, nor allowing himself to be involved in activities that will make him hang his head in shame the next morning. He has had way too many of those morning, even though he could probably count the number of times those mornings had happened to him on two hands. But a finger was more than enough for him. 

 

"Oh come on bro, you and Nishinoya are so cute when you are around each other sober. You get all shy and he gets loud. When you're drunk, it's like you guys are filming a porno. Kinda hot actually." Bokuto looked up at the ceiling, probably remembering one of the times they've walked in Nishinoya and Asahi doing the dirty deed. It was actually sorta hot, but that wasn't gonna come out of Kuroo's mouth. 

"Please don't remind me." Asahi hid his head in his hands. The bright lights rotating around the room were already starting to hurt his head, and he just wanted to go back to the dorm. 

"Dude, Bokuto is actually right about something. When Bokuto is right about something, you know it's true." Because Bokuto, though rather intelligent, had limited thoughts on making good moral decisions. 

"Guys you know I'm just going to mess up again." 

"Bro, we believe in you." Bokuto clutched Asahi in a hug, holding on to him as tight as he could. "We believe in you." 

"I agree with the bumbling fool for once. You can do it. You might burst into tears while doing it, but you can do it." Kuroo grinned at Asahi, who was frowning down at him. Kuroo just shrugged his shoulders. "Better than nothing?" 

 

"Ughhh. If you guys let me be, I will, okay?" They both took a step back from Asahi, bowing their way to the stairs that led to the dance floor downstairs. Asahi groaned, and continued to do so as he went to the stairs and started going down. Kuroo and Bokuto gave each other a high five, proud of their achievement. 

"So bro." Bokuto slung an arm around Kuroo's shoulders and started bobbing his head in time with the music. Kuroo didn't feel the need to mention he looked like a chicken when he did that. "What are your plans for this splendid party?" 

"Oho oh hoo no." He grabbed Bokuto's arm and spun him around, then of course they went into some of the salsa movies that they picked up during that one week class they took a while ago. Sure, people were staring at them as if they were insane, but they learned to ignore the stares at this point. And they knew they looked good together. "What are your plans for this party, Brokuto bro?"

"Oho oh hoo. Well, if you reallllllllllly want to know." He leaned down to dip in Kuroo's arms, throwing a leg up. "I'm going to need your help for my latest mission." 

"And what exactly is this mission?"

"Mission: Find Akaashi and Get Him To Love Me. Or at least another hook up. For now. The loving part can come later." Bokuto smiled at Kuroo, proud of the name that probably took him an hour to come up with. 

"And what happens if I don't want to help you with such a hopeless mission." Kuroo wanted to have fun tonight, not help his friend get rejected. 

"Than your prized dildo collection shall be sold online." Bokuto wiggled his eyebrows as Kuroo cursed under his breath. He should've never let the idiot know where he stashed them. 

"Fine, fine, I'll help." They stopped dancing with each other to look over the crowd again. There was a smoky smell in the air, not just from the pig. It was the smell of sweat, alcohol, tears, and weed. And the smoke coming from the pig, that was there too. And maybe some vomit, if Kuroo's nose was picking that up correctly. 

"Well first we gotta find him."

"Oh nooooooo, I thought we were just going to magically appear to his location." Yeah that stench is vomit. Somebody couldn't hold their tequila. 

"No, but that would be really cool though!" 

"Shut up and tell me the plan, idiot. Is Akaashi even here tonight?" Kuroo slapped Bokuto on the back of the head, getting him out of his daydreams of teleporting to Akaashi whenever he wanted. 

"It's simple. We're gonna split up and be the awesome people that we are. But you're going to find Akaashi first, while I start to show off my sick dance moves. You find Akaashi, and tell him that I need to talk to him. Tell him I'm in front of the DJ's booth because I will be. He'll come, see how awesome I look dancing and be all 'Swoooon Bokuto please come and love me'. And then he'll suck my dick." Bokuto's voice went into a high falsetto when he did the swooning part, even though Akaashi's voice was nothing like that. At all. 

"And what makes you think I'll find him first?"

"I happen to know, he came to this event with a little, pudding haired friend of his. The very one you have an obsessive and creepy crush on." Kuroo stopped all movement and looked at Bokuto. 

"He's with Kenma?" Kuroo knew Kenma was coming, but this gave him more reason to talk to him. More reason to talk means more talking, which means getting to know each other, which means becoming friends, which means slowly evolving into a relationship, which means he would be able to cuddle with Kenma, and kiss him, and watch stupid movies with him, and take bubbles baths together, and do stupid gross couple stuff. 

"Okay, I'll do it. But only if he tells me where Kenma is." 

"Deal." They grinned at each other and shook on it. "Good luck tonight, bro."

"Trust me, you need it more." Kuroo poked his tongue out at him before he rushed down the steps, excited to see Kenma. It was when his feet hit the first level floor, when his eyesight was overwhelmed with people everywhere, his body shaking with the bass of the music, did he realize what he got himself into. He could barely even speak to Kenma like a normal human being. He would always start to babble and get flustered, fucking something up or another. Sure, they only talked a grand total of two times, and the first time was a limited amount of a minute or two, but still, he couldn't risk the chance. 

He took a deep breath and headed straight to the bar. If he was going to do this, he would need some liquid courage. 

\-----

He wasn't sure if it was the alcohol or the lights, but he kinda felt like he was floating. Kuroo laughed to himself when that comment floated through his mind, and he immediately dropped his head down on the bar counter. It hurt, but Kuroo couldn't bring himself to care. 

"Why are you physically harming yourself?" He turned his head to the side to look at Tsukishima, whose face spelled repulsion. Damn brat. 

"I'm not physically harming myself. I'm just drunk." Kuroo's words came out as a slurred messed, and he could feel himself falling asleep on the counter. 

"You literally sat here like, five minutes ago. You've only had two drinks and half. And if experience has told me anything, it’s that you are totally not a lightweight." Tsukishima said, pointing towards the half empty glass that was in Kuroo's grasp. He really didn't have to ruin Kuroo's fun. 

"Sheesh Tsukki, can't I just pretend to be drunk without actually ruining my liver. I'm not Bokuto, you know." Kuroo needed to be drunk right now. He needed to be drunk, because he knew he was going to have to interact with Kenma at some point of the night. At least the alcohol in his system would be a good excuse if he fucked up like he knows he will. But two and a half drinks was nowhere near the amount he needed to get drunk. Damn these years of growing alcohol tolerance. 

"Why do you need to get drunk?" Tsukishima wasn’t sure why he was asking, he knew how idiotic Kuroo’s and Bokuto’s antics tended to be. He should just really stay out of this, if he knew what was good for him.

“Because I have to talk to Kenma.” Kuroo slumped forward, thinking about every possible thing that could go wrong when he talks to him. A meteor can fall on him, or he can spill his drink all over Kenma, or his hair can look worse than normal when he talks to him and everyone would make fun of his bed head that he swears he sent like twenty minutes trying to tame.

“Oh, so you’re finally talking to your little boy toy now? What made you grow a pair?” Tsukishima poked Kuroo’s head. Everyone knew about Kuroo’s huge crush on Kenma, anything like this didn’t stay out of their circle for long. Which is why they all make fun of Kuroo for it.

“He’s not a boy toy, he’s an adorable human being who deserve all the happiest things in the world.” Kuroo pouted at Tsukishima and flicked him on the head. Kenma was in no way his boy toy. Kenma was something special to him, something he wanted to love and cherish and kiss his face a lot. He’s totally not a onetime thing at all. 

“Oh whatever Kuroo, how did you finally talk to him?”

“He came into my bar, and then I went to a new tattoo shop to check it out and he works there, and now I have to help Bokuto hook up with our drug dealer, who may or may not be with Kenma, so I have to figure out a way to talk to Kenma without fucking up.” Kuroo plopped his head on the counter again, whining about his own problems. 

“Oh, well I just saw Akaashi head into the crowd a few minutes ago. I think he had a small, pudding head with him.” Tsukishima pointed back towards the crowd of dancing people. “I think they’re closer to this side. You might want to catch up with them now.”

“Ughhhhhhhh.” Kuroo stood up and drowned the rest of his drink, steeling himself to talk to Kenma. “Wish me luck. Oh, have fun fucking Yamaguchi later.” Kuroo waved and walked off, heading towards the crowd of dancing people. 

Now Tsukishima was going to tell Kuroo how drunk Akaashi and Kenma were, probably a bit overintoxicated. But after the Yamaguchi comment, he decided that maybe Kuroo wasn’t deserving of that advice. So now Kuroo had to deal with the mess himself. Tsukishima smiled to himself while he got up to find Yamaguchi. The brunette was probably dancing, and damn did Tsukishima love to watch that.

Kuroo walked through the crowds, people he wasn't even sure he knew stopping to say hi when they noticed him. The dark lighting was brightened by the glow stick, the smell of smoke and alcohol clinging onto everyone. He danced his way through crowd, pumping his fist in beat with the music. 

The music changed when he finally found Akaashi and Kenma. He was about to go up to them and relay Bokuto’s words to Akaashi when they started dancing together. And goddamn did they look good. 

They moved perfectly in time with the beat, grinding together. It was as if everyone had faded away to them, but they didn’t realize that people were actually watching them. Akaashi looked hot as always, a hand on Kenma’s waist, the other holding a glass in the air. The tight jeans he was wearing were sinful, and the plaid shirt that hung open on his shoulders, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, didn’t hide the tight white tank top underneath. He even had two leis on and several glow bracelets decorating his arms. He knew Bokuto was going to go crazy when he saw Akaashi.

 

But what shocked him even more was Kenma. He never expected Kenma to be a party animal. Yet here he was, grinding against Akaashi, in a neon, splatter paint crop top and ripped leggings with shiny, silver boots. He even had a neon flower crown that match the leis he had on. Kuroo was undeniably attracted to how Kenma looked right now, his hips rolling in beat with the music, arms moving over his head. 

 

The two of them were moving as if they were naturally together, sexy rolling off of them in waves. People were literally stopping and checking them out as they danced. When Kuroo finally shook himself out of his daze, he realized that he needed to finish his part of the mission. He tried to make himself look like he wasn’t just staring at the both of them like an idiot, and moved over to their side, taking Akaashi’s drink out his hands.

“Heyoh, you two party animals.” He drank the rest of Akaashi’s drink and smiled at the both of them when he had their attention. Albeit they were still grinding on each other, but they were looking at him.

“Hey Kuroo.” Akaashi nodded to him, taking back his drink and frowning when he saw that it was empty.

“Tetsurou, you’re here.” Kenma looked up at him, biting his lower lip. His cheeks were red, probably from dancing and intoxication.

“Yeah, of course I am. I am thE PARTY GOD.” Kuroo threw out his arms and cheered the last part, people cheering in the back of him. He just hoped he didn’t look too much of an asshole. 

“What you doing here?” Akaashi asked. He still had the held together air he always had, but Kuroo could see that he was loosening up. 

“Bokuto wants to talk to you, man. He said he was up by the DJ’s booth if you wanted to find him.” Kuroo pointed towards the general direction. Akaashi nodded, and kissed Kenma on the cheek before heading towards the DJ’s booth. Kuroo moved in front of Kenma before he could leave.

“Uh, wanna dance? Like cause I just made your dance partner leave and you must be lonel-.” Kenma’s hand pressed against his chest and Kuroo nearly fainted at the smile Kenma was giving him. 

“Sure. I would love too.” Kenma moved closer to him, and the song changed again. Kuroo almost froze as Kenma danced against him, his arms wrapping around Kuroo’s shoulders. He shook his head quickly, and started dancing in time with Kenma, trying to act like he wasn’t just frozen a second ago.

“S-so you know Akaashi?” He asked him, his voice starting to hurt form the shouting.

“Yeah. I have for a while. We kinda have a close platonic relationship.” Kenma shouted back to him, smiling more than Kuroo had ever seen. The blonde was obviously intoxicated, because he was never this open. And he would never grind on Kuroo like he was doing right now. It made Kuroo nervous, but fuck that he was enjoying it more.

“And may I ask about the outfit?” Kenma looked amazing in it. The crop top showed off Kenma’s stomach, showing how small his waist was, while the legging made his legs look amazing. And the flower crown looked adorable, he had to admit that.

“Shouyou was being a butt. He said I could pick out his outfit if he picked out mine.” Kenma rolled his hips against Kuroo’s again, and Kuroo had to physically hold himself back. “You should see what he’s wearing. Though, the short shorts make his legs look great.” 

“I would love too.” But they didn’t move from their spot, still dancing with each other. He loved this feeling, Kenma pressed up against him. He loved how loose the boy was acting, even though it was probably brought on by copious amounts of alcohol. He loved having his hands on Kenma’ waist, he loved moving so naturally with Kenma, and he loved the looks they were getting from other people. He knew they looked hot right now. And he hasn’t fainted yet, which was even more exciting.

“Hey, let’s go get some drinks.” Kenma told him when the song ended, his hand resting on Kuroo’s bicep. Kuroo nodded and Kenma led the way out of the crowd.

Yeah, this was a great night.

\-----  
And a meteor hit the place and they all died.

 

 

 

\-----

April Fools.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did i get ya? i probably didn't. anyways thank you guys all so much for reading and the nice comments. i took a short break from this story because i couldn't come up with this chapter at all, even though i was able to write two realllllyy long other fics.  
> it wasn't until 3am this morning that ideas started bursting into my mind, so i'm running on four hours of sleep and writer's energy.  
> i was more descriptive of kenma's and akaashi's outfits because i really loved that scene of them together, and i really love them in a platonic, cuddly relationship.  
> anyways, thanks for reading  
> -morgan


	6. Oikawa Is Probably The World's Biggest Dick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hungover sunday mornings are not fun, Kuroo is once again the biggest dork we all know, and yes Oikawa has had bigger.

Kuroo woke up feeling like actual literal hell. His mouth was as dry as the fucking Savanna during the summer, his whole body ached like he was slammed by a sumo wrestler into a brick wall fifty times, and his head hurt so bad he was ready to sacrifice something to Satan just to make it all stop. In other words, it just really wasn’t a good morning for Kuroo. His eyes weren’t even opened yet and he could already feel them stinging in pain. So instead of doing what would be the more adult thing and get up, he just rolled over so he could block out the sunlight shining in his room. 

Or he should’ve been face down in his bed. Not on top of another human being. Oh no, scratch that, not be pushed off the bed after the human being he rolled on top of freaked out and shoved him hard. His back hit the floor with a slam and he opened his eyes to a Kenma hanging over the side of his bed. Kenma's eyes were wide and cat-like, faced pulled into an expression of shock. They stared at each other, unsure of what to do about the strange set of circumstances that life had shoved in their faces. Neither moved, unsure what exactly should they do. It was only when Kenma’s eyes slowly started to travel down Kuroo’s body, did he realize he was as naked as the day he was born. And that Halloween party he had with Bokuto last fall. No more free strip shows for him. He was going to require five dollars per person next time. 

He sat up, trying to hide the blush on his face. Okay so like, no one could actually see him blush (thank god for his dark skin) but that didn’t mean he didn’t know he was blushing. And he did not like blushing one bit, he was too cool for that. Or he liked to believe he was at least. 

He coughed awkwardly, Kenma still looking out of place on his bed, wrapped up in his blankets. Kenma was in hissss blankeeetss. Wait, it was his room, right? A quick glance around and a spotting of one broken door that was just leaning against the frame told him yes. And yes he was still pissed about that. He looked back to Kenma, and a wild thought suddenly hit him like a volleyball that Bokuto spiked right in his face. 

“Oh shit, did we have sex last night?” 

“Uh,” Kenma looked down at the bed, trying to avoid eye contact with Kuroo. “Well, I may have uh. Sucked your dick? And then I think we were going to go further. But you kinda passed out on top of me.” 

Kuroo groaned and fell back on the floor, covering his eyes in disbelief of himself. Of course he fucking got black out drunk and passed out when he was going to have sex with the guy he has the stupidest, biggest crush on. This was a new level of low for him, a whole new level three floors down in hell. He wanted to hide in a hole. Preferably one on fire. 

“I’m such an idiottttttttt.” Kuroo rolled around on the floor, trying to hide himself in his shame and self-pity. Sure, it didn’t help his hangover at all, but it was better than facing the cause of his embarrassment dead on. This was probably one of the stupidest things he has ever done. Right above getting his ass waxed (Daichi managed to convince not to get his asshole bleached) and right below streaking through a dog show (he had bite marks for weeks).Really, Kuroo did a lot of fucking stupid things, but this was really top tier. He was sure Kenma would never talk to him again. Like for sheesh, half the campus thought of him as a ‘sex-god’ when he was really just a fucking dork who couldn’t even hold out to do anything with his crush. He has officially fucked up what will probably be his one and only chance to get anywhere with Kenma. 

“It’s fine. Please stop rolling around. The floor doesn’t look clean. I'm pretty sure dangerous bacteria is growing.” Kenma was clutching the side of the bed, eyes following Kuroo's rolling body. Kenma was probably right, but the shame had overtaken Kuroo's mind. The only action that he could do was roll around like a complete and utter idiot. 

"Twinkle twinkle little whore, come and make us breakfast you bore." The door fell to the floor with a loud bang, making both Kenma and Kuroo cringe in a hungover induced glory. Oikawa stood at the other side of the door frame, hand up in mid knock, and a wide grin on his face. His eyes darted between Kenma wrapped in Kuroo's sheets and Kuroo on the floor completely naked. His grin grew even wider, much to Kuroo's regret. "Ooooooohhhh, someone had fun fucking last night~" 

"Oikawa, get the fuck out of my room." Kuroo growled, grabbing a pillow to cover his junk from the prowling eyes. It wasn't like Oikawa hadn't seen Kuroo naked before, but he had to have some semblance of decency in front of Kenma. Just whatever little scraps he could pick up of it. 

"But I'm not in your room." Oikawa smiled brightly, eyes shining in that childlike cruelty of his. "So Kozume, I see you've hooked up with our college's Little Miss Slut of the year." 

"Oikawa, get the fuck out of my apartment, you stupid cock whore." He grabbed the closest thing he could find (an alarm clock that he bought with the actually intention to use but never did) and threw it at Oikawa's face, hoping to do some damage. Oikawa just dodged it, and skipped away laughing. 

"Twinkle twinkle little twink, did you like Kuroo's meaty dick?" They could still hear Oikawa's annoying singing, the damn bastard. He looked at Kenma, who was hiding his face behind the sheets in his hand, blushing as red as something really red. Like a tomato. That's it. 

"Look, I'm sorry for him. He's A COMPLETE AND MAJOR ASSHOLE," he ignored the giggling from the other room and the twinge in his head as he raised his voice, "when his boyfriend isn't around to keep him in order. I'll set him straight and tell him to say sorry."

"It's fine." Kenma stuttered out, half his face still hidden behind the sheets. Kuroo sighed and pulled on the nearest pair of underwear he could find within arm's reach. Of course, they had to be those stupid, tight, pink boxer briefs Bokuto decided to get him from Christmas one year. He reminded himself to burn them as he pulled them up his legs. And then burn Bokuto. 

"I'm really sorry about this whole thing," he said as he stood up, looking down at Kenma. The boy looked so adorable wrapped up in blankets on Kuroo's bed. It was probably a good idea to not bother him anymore after this fucked up morning. Instead he turned around and searched for a pair of sweat pants. "You can stay here until you want to come out if you'd like. I have to go make breakfast. It's my turn on the list." He pulled on the sweatpants and turned back to Kenma, smiling to put the boy at ease. Kenma nodded his head as an answer and ducked beneath the blankets again. 

The kitchen was in worse shape than he had remembered from yesterday. A box of condoms was on top of the kitchen table, opened and scattered around, as well as several bottles of lube. Beer and other alcoholic drinks seemed to litter the floor, along with other questionable substances. Many different pieces of clothing seemed to be in every corner. And the lighting fixture also held several pairs of pants. In was a pant chandelier. A pantelier. That was probably one of the best jokes he has ever made, he could not wait to tell Bokuto it when the ass finally woke up from his drunken dreams. 

Oikawa sat at the kitchen table, a cup of water in his hands. His legs were resting on Iwaizumi, who was currently snoring up a storm, face down underneath the kitchen table. He was also completely naked. Well, Kuroo didn't mind that, Iwaizumi had amazing arms that everyone on the whole damn campus thirsted for. Along with an amazing everything else. 

"Why exactly did you guys choose to have sex in my apartment? Don't you guys have dorms too?" He asked Oikawa, opening the fridge to find anything to make for breakfast. It was obvious Bokuto had not done his assigned chore to go grocery shopping this week, so they would have to deal with fish sticks for breakfast. 

"Welllllll. We were going to go to Iwa-chan's room. But Makki had decided it was going to be his and Mattsun's turn to take over the room for the night. It wasn't the most pleasant sights to walk into. Though Mattsun does look amazing in thigh highs." Kuroo could only imagine. 

"Then why didn't you idiots go to your dorm? Don't you live in one of those nice, big dorms for fancy, annoying ass rich students?" Kuroo found his baking sheet shield and poured the fish sticks onto it before shoving the thing in the oven. He turned the oven on as high as it would go without breaking it (which wasn't that high, this oven was shitty) and sat across from Oikawa. 

"Well you see," Oikawa scratched the back of his head, his other hand drawing patterns onto the wooden table top. "There was a problem with my room." 

"Like what?" Kuroo narrowed his eyes at Oikawa. A problem could mean anything with this idiot. It was most likely something stupid. 

"There may or may not have been a spider in there yesterday." It was something stupid. 

"So you wouldn't go and have rough, amazing sex in your own dorm with your incredibly hot bodied boyfriend because there was a spider in your room yesterday?" 

"Yes."

"I officially give up on you." Kuroo threw his hands up in disbelief. "You're too fucked up. You're on a whole new level of fucked up. You're on such a level of fucked up, Bokuto, Nishinoya, Tanaka, Yamamoto, Lev, and Asahi when he's drunk all combined does not equal your level of fuck upery."

"I know I just have too much power." Oikawa purred as he leaned forward, resting his head in his hands on the table, winking at Kuroo. 

"You guys need to learn to shut the fuck up." A sleepy voice yawned out. They both turned to look at Suga, who was only wearing a large button down that looked suspiciously like Sawamura's.

"Well it looks like we all had a lot of fun last night, Mr. Refreshing." Oikawa smirked at Suga, who only rolled his eyes in return. He turned towards the coffee maker, always unable to interact with people without a cup of coffee. His motherly attitude only came after caffeine was going through his blood stream. 

"Is that a limp I pick up Suga? Did Daichi go a little too rough on your hips?" Kuroo joining in on the teasing now. Suga turned towards the both of them, a look of calm, cold, and horrifying fury in his eyes. 

"Well I know you didn't even last a round with Kozume last night, Kuroo. And Oikawa, I didn't know your vocal range could go so high with Iwaizumi slamming into you like the little bitch you are." Suga smiled at them before grabbing his coffee and leaving the room, Oikawa and Kuroo left in a state of shock. 

"Well then...." Oikawa trailed off, mouth set in a grim line. Kuroo sighed and dropped his head onto the table. 

"My dick is too big to deal with this bullshit so early in the morning." 

"Well I've felt and sucked your dick multiple times, and I must say, it is honestly not the biggest dick I've ever had in me." 

"Oikawa, shut up."

\------------------  
This was honestly not one of the weirdest breakfasts Kuroo's ever had. Like honestly, it was better than that breakfast that Bokuto kept asking people to open the box in front of his dick. Sawamura had promptly punched him in the nose. There was a lot of blood. There was also that morning they started having a fruit fight, and Asahi was pelted with strawberries, the poor soul.

No, this breakfast was really just… awkward. At some point, everyone who had made use of the apartment for the night had come out of their rooms. Of course Oikawa and Iwaizumi were there. Iwaizumi had finally woken up when Oikawa dumped a cup of cold water over his head. That ended up with a lot of screaming and a very loud head-butt that had woke up everyone else. 

Sawamura and Suga came out a little bit after Kuroo got ice packs for Iwaizumi and Oikawa. Suga was much happier now, that ever refreshing smile on his face. It was like he had completely forgotten how hard he burned Kuroo and Oikawa, but the wink he gave them told otherwise. Sawamura was still half asleep, hand clutching to the back of Suga’s shirt. It was actually really adorable, because he looked like a giant, cuddly teddy bear. Not like Kuroo could ever tell him that without the threat of death looming over his head. 

Kenma managed his way out of Kuroo’s room after, wearing the clothes he had from last night. He didn’t say much as he entered the room, he only sat down at the table and nodded to everyone. Kuroo had even offered him one of his sweatshirts, because it was damn cold and a crop top didn’t do much, but Kenma only turned down the offer. Which was probably for the best, Kuroo would pass out if he saw Kenma in his clothes. No one questioned Kenma’s presence out loud, though Kuroo did receive a lot of looks that he ignored with all of his might. 

Bokuto and Akaashi came out as the same time as Lev and Yaku, the latter pair coming out of Asahi’s room. When questioned, they claimed that they were too drunk to get to their own apartments. Thankfully Asahi was not in his room or the apartment and did not wake up to find two drunk guys in his bed. Bokuto had also somehow found another way to hook up with their drug dealer, which confused everyone else to no ends. Like seriously, Akaashi was a 20 out of 10 and Bokuto was like .2. Bokuto had that ‘Hell yeah I got some’ look on his face while Akaashi just looked like he had pure and utter contempt for the world. Extra chairs were dragged around the table, everyone sitting down at the round wooden table that really wasn’t meant to hold so many. When the timer Kuroo had set went off, he pulled the tray out of the oven and dropped it in the middle of the table, ignoring everyone’s stares. He only sat down and started eating fish sticks. After a few confused seconds, everyone just shrugged it off and started eating along with Kuroo.

No one said a word, instead choosing to eat the old, quickly cooling fish sticks. It was sorta funny to Kuroo, stuff like this always seems to happen after a party. Their apartment was just the one that was deemed perfect to have drunk sex in. He chuckled quietly to himself, ignoring the stares from everyone else.

“Ummmm,” Everyone turned towards Kenma, who was the first one to speak after their mutual gathering. “I apologize. I realized I have to go now.” He got up quickly and walked towards the front door, barely giving a wave towards everyone. Of course, Kuroo freaked out, scrambling out of his seat to catch up.

“Ke-Kenma.” He stumbled in front of Kenma who was just about to open the door. “W-would you, I don’t know, like someone to walk you home? Like you know just for some company or something, I really don’t mind cause you know I just want to make sure you’ll be alright and I just… yeah. Yeah.” He blushed again, silently screaming in his head about how awkward he is. 

“No, it’s fine. I’d rather just. Go home alone.” Kenma started to open the door, keeping his eye towards the floor.

“Are you sure?” Kuroo reached out to Kenma. Kenma flinched away from Kuroo’s hand, tucking his hair behind an ear.

“Really, I think it’s best if I just go back alone. Bye Kuroo.” Without another word, he walked out of the apartment, closing the door behind him. Kuroo stared at the door, wondering where exactly did he go wrong in life. 

“I FUCKING TOLD YOU TO STOP PUTTING FUDGE IN THE FUCKING TOASTER OVEN, THAT ONE WAS NEW YOU MORON.”

“I’m sorrrrrrrrrryyyy.”

Moving into this apartment. That was definitely it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUESS WHO'S BACK WITH A BRAND NEW RAP.  
> so i like answered an ask saying this would hopefully update twice a month. i was wrong. so once a month would probably be a better estimate. but hey, i got this chapter out finally.  
> i also figured out several new things like i will probably always start new stories between chapters of this one and i cannot draw people for the life of me but my latern drawing skills are hella.  
> thanks for all the nice comments and all the kudos and all the reading and love guys, anyone who reads this is great even if you like legit hate it. thankssss -morgan


	7. The Bros Need Time To Bond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo never had any in the first, Daichi did get laid, and the bro love here is so hardcore.

When Daichi walked into the apartment Monday late afternoon, funeral music was blasting all throughout the apartment. And as normal, the haze of smoke through the pitch black was still there. And it was only five in the afternoon. Instead of bothering to communicate with the creatures that also shared his apartment, he went to the room that the music seemed the loudest. The bathroom. 

 

He wobbled through the apartment, trying not to run into anything that could potentially eat his feet. He walked into the bathroom, only to see Bokuto and Kuroo on the floor in front of the toilet as they passed a joint back and forth. The only light in the room was from the candles that sat on top of the toilet. 

 

"What the fuck are you doing?" Daichi asked as he switched on the lights. There was a scramble and screams (hoots and maybe a hiss) as he watched the both of them fall to the floor in surprise. Luckily, Bokuto didn't let go of the joint. His eyes were wide and owl like while Kuroo tried to bat the light away, squinting with disgust at Daichi. 

 

"We're holding a funeral." Kuroo said, his voice raspy and rough. 

 

"Why the fuck are you guys holding a funeral in the bathroom?" 

 

"It's for Kuroo's dignity." Bokuto sat up point to a little rubber duck in the toilet. Printed in big black letters was the word ‘dignity.’ 

 

"Boys." Daichi said as he sat down next to them, holding his hand out for the joint. He looked at the both of them before smoking. "He's never had that in the first place."

\-----

It wasn't that Kuroo was a loser. It was that Kuroo was a loser. At least that's what his foggy mind told him. He’s not even sure if what he just thought made sense.

 

"Dude, do you ever think that Spongebob tells the story of a new Bible?" Bokuto asked. After trying to flush the rubber duck down the toilet and ignoring the flood it caused, the three of them stumbled their way to the living room. They fell onto the couch and turned on the TV, leaving it to the first thing they found. Spongebob. 

 

"Sometimes I think you're such an idiot. But Bokuto, right now you're a genius." Sawamura said, giving Bokuto a high five. 

 

"Now wait, wait, wait. Does this mean Spongebob is Jesus? I thought Asahi was Jesus?" Kuroo asked into Bokuto's leg. Their stumble to the couch led to him plopping across Sawamura's and Bokuto's legs without a care from anyone. 

 

"No, Patrick is Jesus. Or this representational object of a savior. The whole show is about how Spongebob fell in love with Patrick." Bokuto pointed towards the TV, even though the station had flipped to a commercial about buying an elephant. Or maybe it was a commercial about going to the zoo.

 

"Bokuto, bro. I think you're the new prophet of the world. You have to write this shit down." Kuroo said as scrambled to get up. He straddled Bokuto’s lap and grabbed his face, rubbing their noses together. 

 

“We should totally start a new religion and call it Bokutoism.” Bokuto said as he fist pumped over the awesome name he came up with.

 

“I would think that would be more of a cult than anything.” Sawamura bopped both of their heads, laughing as they squealed at the touch. 

 

“I would honestly be okay with being in a cult if Bokuto was the leader.” Kuroo nodded his head, bouncing absentmindedly on his lap.

 

“I would rather not.” Sawamura said as he leaned back on the couch. 

 

“Every Thursday would be Owl Day. We would all dress up like owls and do a dance to our Owl Gods and Spongebob.” Bokuto grabbed Kuroo’s hips, eye alight with the many thoughts of Owl Day.

 

“You know what, Bokuto being the cult leader is starting to sound less and less attractive.” Kuroo leaned away from Bokuto, disgust written all over his face.

 

“Hey, what day is it?” Sawamura raised his head suddenly, eyeing the digital clock under the TV.

 

“It’s a Tuesday.” Kuroo said as he reached over to poke Sawamura’s cheek, which he almost succeeded in doing, until Sawamura bounded out of his seat, running to his room. 

 

“HOLY SHIT I HAVE A DATE WITH SUGA. I AM SUPPOSE TO GET LAID TONIGHT.” Was heard from his room, as well as a fracas of slamming and a body probably running into the closet. 

 

Kuroo and Bokuto quietly stared at the door’s direction, slowly taking in Sawamura’s actions. Just as Kuroo was about to say something else, Bokuto quietly whispered, “On a Tuesday.”

 

Thy fell on top of each other in a bundle of laughs as Sawamura screamed at the both of them to shut up. It was when Sawamura was out the door did Kuroo realize it was actually Monday.

\----

 

It was an hour later when their high started to feel like they were wearing off. They somehow found their way to Kuroo’s bed, the broken door left on the floor because they weren’t too sure how to put it back up. They were tangled together, arms wrapped around each other in tight embrace. Kuroo snuggled into Bokuto’s chest, head tucked under his chin. He breathed in Bokuto’s scent, a mix of weed, grass, and the cheap, woodsy cologne he uses that Bokuto somehow always manages to pull off.

 

“Is something wrong, Kuroo?” Bokuto stroked his fingers through Kuroo’s hair, pulling through the small knots. He was only making it more of a mess for Kuroo to tame later, but it felt too relaxing to care. 

 

“Bokuto, on a scale of 1 to Asahi at that freshman party the first time we got him drunk, how much of a fuck up am I?” He rubbed his face against Bokuto’s chest again, knowing he looked stupid and sounded pathetic. 

“Whaaaaaattt?” Bokuto held onto Kuroo’s shoulders, pulling him up to face him. “You’re awesome, bro. You are the most awesomest bro I have. You’re like amazing, dude.”

“But why did Kenma leave yesterday?” He kept his eyes everywhere but at Bokuto, pouting slightly. 

“Brooooooo.” Bokuto moved his hands from Kuroo’s shoulders to his face, pulling their faces closer. “You are great. You’re funny, and you’re browesome, and you got a rocking bod, and you’re smart, and like look at you bro. You’re hot as heck. Who wouldn’t want someone as rocking hot as you? Kenma probably got shy or something.”

“Bokutoooo, why are you the best guy ever?” He rubbed their noses together, giggling at the goofy expressions Bokuto made. 

 

“Because you’re my besssssssssttttt frrriiieeennnndddd.” They stared at each other for a few seconds, giggling quietly before trailing off. Kuroo stared into Bokuto’s eyes before his own eyes darted down to his lips quickly. Bokuto smirked before pulling him into a kiss. 

 

Kuroo rolled on top of Bokuto, their lips stilled locked. They pulled away after a few moments, staring at each other again. Then Kuroo fell back on Bokuto’s chest, laughing.

“Broooooooooo, I love kissing you.” Kuroo snuggled into Bokuto’s chest again, placing tiny kisses here and there.

“That’s cause I love you, bro.” Bokuto wrapped his arms around Kuroo, squeezing him tight while kissing the top of his head.

“I love you too, Bo.”  
\----- 

Dinner was quiet tonight, just Bokuto and Kuroo. No matter what most people like to believe, the two of them together do have their quiet moments. They enjoyed each other’s company, a relief with being someone who understands them in a different way that other people did.

These nights were some of Kuroo’s favorite, even higher ranked than going out and doing stupid shit. These were the nights when Kuroo and Bokuto ordered out (especially since there was no food in the apartment), and sat snuggled on their couch. They would wrap themselves in a huge blanket, the one that Sawamura threatens to burn every time he finds it in the shower. And they watched the worst porno they can find. 

Nothing said bro love than watching a bad, shitty quality porno with your significant bro-ther.

“Hey, wait a second. Bokuto, how did you even manage to hook up with Akaashi the second time? I had five bucks that you couldn’t even get him to look your way.”

“Bro, that’s just rude.” Bokuto pushed Kuroo’s head away, doing that pouty face of his.

“Bokutoooo, I was just joking.” He kissed Bokuto’s temple before he went into one of dejected moods again. Kuroo always felt so bad when Bokuto went into one of his slumps. He always felt like bundling Bokuto up with a million of blankets and sitting there with him, crying the whole time. Sawamura and Suga normally held him back from doing that though. “But really, what happened?” 

“Welllllllllll.”” He grinned, putting his arm on Kuroo’s shoulder. “Let’s just say that I impressed him with my awesome dancing skills and he loved it so much that he sucked my dick. Like you should be doing right now.” 

Kuroo smacked him on the side of the head. 

“Oww, ow, ow. Okay I’ll tell you the truth.” He pulled Kuroo’s hand into his to stop him from hitting him again. “Well, as I told you, he found me dancing near the DJ’s booth.”

“Yeah, thank you for sending me to tell him to meet you there. But also fuck you.”

“Shhhhhhh.” He flapped his hand in Kuroo’s face. “Anyways, so he found me, and I was pulling off awesome moves, and dancing with some peeps I don’t remember, but I know we looked hella tight dancing. And then I saw Akaashi so I danced over to him.”

“You huge, fucking dork. I can’t believe you danced to him.” 

“Do you really want to hear the rest of the story or whaaaaaaat?”

“Yes, yes, yes.” He snuggled his head into Bokuto’s shoulder. “I love hearing you speak, Bo. You’re so naughty. Ahhhh, Bokuto you’re so good at this.”

“You sound worse than the porno, dude.” Bokuto said, laughing at the disturbing sounds Kuroo made. “Anyways, we danced together for a while. And he was really drunk, and I was really drunk, and gosh everyone was just really drunk.”

“Don’t remind me. Getting that drunk was such a bad idea.” 

“Not even lasting one round. I still applaud you for that, bro.” 

“I got a blowjob in, does that count?”

“Didn’t he give you the blowjob?” Kuroo groaned and dropped his head on Bokuto’s shoulder again. Why does everyone have to remind him how pathetic he was that night? Did everyone think he already forgot about it? He is very, very far from forgetting about it. “So, back to my awesome story instead of your lack of ability to communicate to the boy of your dreams. So we were both very drunk. And we were dancing. Like dancing very close to-get-her. And he started getting down and naughty, and I started being totally suave about it.”

“So you blushed and tried to hide your boner?” He had that smirk on his face, that one he had whenever he was trying to piss people off. It normally helped him succeed in his trying.

“One blow job.” Bokuto said, face settled in stone.

“Okay, okay sorry.” He bowed his head, the grin becoming more sheepish in his everlasting shame. He can imagine it, his gravestone the day he gets buried. ‘Here lies Kuroo Tetsurou. He lasted a blowjob.’

“So we were dancing, and it gets serious. And we go to the bar and order some drinks, and bro. Bro, Akaashi must’ve been so thirsty.”

“Drinking five glasses of whatever thirsty? Or unzip your pants and go down on you in public thirsty?”

“So thirsty he spilled water on my pants and said we should go back to my place so we can take them off.” The smug look on his face showed he was 100% serious about everything he just said. 

“Broooooooooooooooooooo.” Kuroo high fived Bokuto in approval, almost knocking him over in his excitement.

“I knoooooooooooooooooooow.” Bokuto cheered out, not caring about the fact that their neighbors were probably sleeping by now. 

“Has he texted you since then?”

“No.” Bokuto’s face fell, his mood worsening. Well, that was a sore spot.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Bokuto shook his head, that idiotic smile of his blooming back on his face. “But that doesn’t mean I’m going to give up. I think I realllllllyyy like Akaashi. He’s so pretty, and he’s much nicer than he seems. Plus we smoked our last blunt tonight.”

“Damn.” That was a bummer for Kuroo.

“But how about you? How did you even mange to get Kozume home?” 

“Thattttttttt’ssss not important Bo.” Kuroo blushed at the memories. They really weren’t that great. At all. He would rather bury them. In the frozen tundra. After burning them. Underwater. 

“I told you my story. You tell me yours.” Bokuto pinched his nose, turning his head back and forth. 

“Okay, just stop.” He batted Bokuto’s hand away, hissing. His nose was his nose, no one else could touch it. “Well, I found the two of them dancing together. Like. Dancing, dancing together.” 

“Like we’re gonna fuck later dancing?” 

“Like they were gonna bang harder than a church gong.”

“Oh good lord, why have you not come down in my time of need?” Bokuto looked up, holding his hand over his mouth. 

“Anyways, so Kenma was like, really drunk and he was acting so much more freely than usually. It was actually really cute. He said Hinata managed to convince him to drink a bit, which I wasn’t surprised about. He was the one to convince Kenma to wear that outfit.”

“He did look pretty nice in that crop top, bro.” Bokuto nodded, ignoring the angry hiss of jealously. 

“So alcohol apparently gets him much, much, much looser than normal and helps with his social anxiety. Or at least makes him forget about it more. At least that’s what he told me. And after Akaashi left, Akaashi kissed him on the cheek by the way and it was adorable.”

“Fuck, why do I miss the good stuff?”

“After Akaashi left, Kenma started dancing with meeeeeeeeee. Then we got more drinks, and I got more drunk, and we danced more and more and more and we drank more. And then he said he wanted to go to my place. No wait, I said we should go to my place, yeah I asked it. And then we came here and found a box of condoms and lube on the kitchen table, and I’m pretty sure we got undressed in the kitchen instead of my room, cause you know.”

“Pantelier.” They said at the same time, identical grins on their faces.

“So yeah, that’s the sweetened down version of it. Well I mean, I can’t actually remember the specifics. I was just really, really drunk.” Bokuto laughed snuggling into Kuroo’s side. “And then he left yesterday morning. And I still have a meeting set up with him Tuesday for a tattoo. What if he cancels in cause he realizes how much of a loser I am?”

“I’m sorry bro. You don’t deserve that. Maybe he left fudge in his toaster. And you’ll do fine tomorrow. You can talk to him about what happened and you get a new kickass tattoo.” Bokuto rubbed his hands against Kuroo’s face, trying to change the pout on his face. 

Kuroo laughed, nuzzling into Bokuto’s hand. “Not everyone is as dumb as you, Bo.”

“And that’s why you love me, Kuroo.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know you big goof.” Bokuto laughed with Kuroo, kissing his forehead. Nothing better than some good old bro loving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i just want to say a thing but like, when i first put this up i was really nervous to do so. but seeing how much people like this story and all of the nice comments really makes me feel so much happier. i know that im not the best writer but i honestly love writing a lot no matter how frustrating it is. so i just wanted to say thank you to everyone reading this. if you wanna chat about stuff or you have a request or idea, [here you go](http://not-deadish.tumblr.com/)  
> -morgan
> 
> PS I REALIZED I MADE A STUPID PLOT HOLE MISTAKE AND SHOUTOUT TO probablyheather FOR CATCHING IT, DUDE THANKS A BUNCH I OWE YA


	8. Soggy Papers Lead To Soggy Tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo has an anxiety attack, Lev doesn't know how to run, and yes he does sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the tattoo kuroo already has [ is like this](http://www.coolmantattoos.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Amazing-Back-with-Geometric-Tattoos-for-Men.jpg)  
> the one he will get will look [something](http://www.tattoosclan.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Crazy-Back-Geometric-Tattoo-Design.jpg) like this

Kuroo wants everyone to know a thing about him. Kuroo Tetsurou is, and forever will be, an idiot. How much on an idiot? It really varies depending on who you talk to.

Like if you asked Sawamura, he will rant off a list of stupidest of the stupid things Kuroo has done in his time in the apartment. On this list you would hear things like light underwear on fire, raise five abandoned kittens in his room even though they were not allowed to have pets, built a fort out of textbooks he’s rarely opened, started a small garden in their bathtub, and painted himself black so he could go outside naked at night. 

If were to ask someone who actually likes Kuroo, doesn’t tolerate him and doesn’t know him on a personal level, they would say he was rather intelligent. He somehow always managed to get high grades in his classes, no matter how much fooling off he seemed to do. 

As said, it all really depended on who you talk to. 

But yes, Kuroo was an idiot because he isn’t currently watching his ten page paper on Wilhelm Wundt and his effect on modern psychology sinking into the fountain in the middle of the central court of the campus. He could feel the tears or frustration fall down his cheek, the feeling of dread sinking into shoulders and sliming its way down to his feet. His hands clenched, his shoulders felt tight, and his jaw was set in anger. 

Those deep breathing techniques really weren’t helping him right now. 

Lev was behind him, on his knees begging for forgiveness. Kuroo was walking to class, proudly holding the ten page paper that he had finished before the very complicated weekend had happened. It was one of the only times he’s actually finished homework more than three days before it was due, and he was so, so, so proud of himself. Even Sawamura had congratulated him. 

He could hear running behind him and he quickly moved to the side to give the runner room. Only to be slammed into from behind, his prized paper flying up. A yell ripped itself from his throat as he watched the papers flutter down into the water of the fountain, hours’ worth of work gone in a blink of the eye.

Lev was still begging for forgiveness, already experienced with the wrath of Kuroo. But Kuroo didn’t blame him this time. 

In truth, this was Kuroo’s fault. Kuroo knew how it was here, he knew he should’ve kept his paper in his backpack instead of holding it. And he had moved right into Lev’s path instead of moving out of it. He was the idiot in this case, and he honestly couldn’t blame anyone else. 

He groaned and pulled at his hair. Of course he fucked up again, of course he did. He was always messing one thing up or another. His hands slid down from his hair and over his mouth, trying to stop himself from shaking too much.

“Kuroo, please I really am sorry. I didn’t mean too and I tried to run past you but you moved and please don’t kill me.” Lev’s head hung low as the words stumbled themselves out his mouth. His hands were balancing his body as he bowed with his head touching the pavement to Kuroo. 

 

“Lev, please just stop.” He turned towards the taller boy, for once towering over him. He still had a hand covering his mouth, the other clenched at his side. He felt like throwing up. “It’s fine.”

Lev looked up at him confused, eyes pulling with a hint of worry. “Kuroo are you okay? You look sorta like you’re sick.”

“Yeah. Yeah I’m fine.” Kuroo took his hand off of his mouth and shook his head. He looked over his shoulder at his papers again before shuddering. “I need to get to class.”

“Bye Kuroo.” Lev said as he got up, but Kuroo didn’t stay long enough to pay attention. He was walking in the opposite direction of his classroom, hands wrung tight around his backpack straps. He kept his head held high and he walked through the campus, nodding and responding nicely to anyone who said hello. 

He could feel those feelings bubble up in him again, the gross ones that he needed to be alone to handle. His breath felt labored and every step felt heavier and heavier. When his dorm building was finally in view his shoulders loosened the tiniest bit. When he entered the building after scanning his ID he pretty much ran up the stairs to his apartment. 

He opened his door and slammed it as he went through, dropping his backpack to the floor. He leaned back against the door, arms wrapped around himself as he did another set of breathing techniques Yaku taught him the first time these things started happening.

Four seconds inhale.

Hold for three seconds.

Five seconds exhale. 

He could feel his heart slowing down but his panic and anxiety was still there. Everyone should be out of the apartment right now, he knew that. He pushed himself off of the door and walked towards the bathroom, shedding his shirt and unbuckling his jeans. He entered the bathroom and turned on the shower, keeping it to a cold setting.

He took off the rest of his clothes and stepped in, sinking to the floor below him. 

He felt so gross, so stupid. How come he always did stuff like this, why couldn’t things just go right for him? He felt like bugs were crawling up his legs, he felt a wave of disgust overtake him completely. He hated it, he hated it, he hated it, he hated it, he hated himself. 

The cold water rushed over him, making him shiver but his mind wouldn’t let him change the temperature. But these anxiety attacks came and they would leave him this mess of himself. He could handle his anxiety on a normal day, he could walk out the door with a smile on his face and with the same overplayed teasing attitude as normal.

But sometimes it all came crashing down. These waves of disgust and self-hatred fell over him in waves at whatever trigger, and all those little thoughts that he normally pushed away ran into him at full power. He shook and shook underneath the cold spray, accepting every thought that passed his mind. 

Oh how terrible he was.  
\-----  
It was a while later before he left the shower, body now numb. He had managed to hold on till the dread of his anxiety left him, now ready to get on with his day. He had skipped the last two classes of his day, and he would probably have to explain what happened to his psychology professor. 

He sighed as he looked at the clock underneath the TV. It was nearing four and he still had his tattoo appointment with Kenma told. He could feel his mood sinking a little more when he remember it. He would have to face Kenma after an anxiety attack, he would have to act normal.

He breathed deeply before going to his room, getting dressed in his normal ensemble of jeans, a t-shirt and his favorite sweatshirt before heading out. He had to get his mood back, he needed his energy back before he faced his crush after the all-time embarrassing shit he pulled this weekend.

He stepped down the steps of the subway, his mind saying encouragements to get his spirits up. As the subway rolled by he gave a small smile to himself. Yes he was amazingly awesome.  
\-----  
The bell rang as he opened the door to Scotch’s, the place that brought him closer to his crush. He had his easy going smile back on his face, his earlier anxiety attack brushed off now. He looked at the counter and saw just who he wanted. Kenma was leaning against him, hair pulled into a ponytail again. He looked at Kuroo with wide eyes, a 3DS in his hands.

“Hey.” Kuroo said with a grin, walking up to the counter. “Here for my tattoo.” 

“Oh.” Kenma nodded at him before looking off to the side. He looked nervous for a second but then he schooled his face and looked at Kuroo. “I’ve got uh. I had an idea for the um. Design you wanted.” 

“Really?” Kuroo’s face lit up, leaning over the counter. “Can I see it? I bet anything you drew would be awesome. I love it already and I haven’t even seen it.” Kenma nodded and took out a paper from underneath the counter.

“I honestly didn’t do much. I thought it might look better with thicker lines and shades of gray going through it. It’s not that difficult of a design but I think it would look really cool.” Kenma was looking down at the sheet, golden eyes shining with excitement as he looked at the drawing. He looked so beautiful. Kuroo could see small freckles dotting along the bridge of Kenma’s nose. A smile did not grace his face, but those beautiful eyes were enough of one for Kuroo, the light bouncing off of them in such a spectacular way. He swept a stray piece of hair behind his ear and looked up at Kuroo again. “What do you think?” 

“You’re really pretty!” He blurted out without thinking, cheeks heating up after he realized what he just said. He wrung his hands together to control himself. “I mean it’s really pretty. Cool. It’s really cool. I like it. I love it. A lot.”

Kenma looked at him strangely for a second before nodding. He pointed behind him before speaking again. “If you can just follow me to the back.” 

There was no one else set up at the stations in the back. A door in the back corner, a man sitting in a desk focused on the computer. The back of the shop was like the front, a grungish feeling permeated throughout it. More pictures of tattoos and drawings were on the wall, as well as other photos of quests. Kenma paused at a station in the back corner opposite from the small office.

“If you could just take off your shirt and lay down hear.” Kenma said waving to the leaned back chair as he moved the station cart around. Kuroo blushed hearing Kenma tell him to take off his shirt. He really needed to get these dirty thoughts out of his head, Kenma wasn’t his to have these bad thoughts about. He just screamed innocence while Kuroo screamed profanity and proactivity. 

“Oh shit, I forgot to tell you.” Kuroo pulled off his shirt, trying to move quickly but before he could finish his statement, his shirt got tangled around his long arms. “Shit.” 

“What?” He could hear Kenma say. He blushed even harder, even though Kenma couldn’t see him, because he was sure he looked like a goddamn idiot right now. His arms kept struggling underneath the fabric and he silently cursed himself out for his inability to by loose fitting shirts. Of course he looked sexiest in tighter shirts but god fuck. He could hear giggling and he struggled harder to take off the shirt, just to see Kenma giggle. It was an amazing sound, one that was a light as bells twinkling. He stopped short when he felt a hand against his chest. “How did you even mange to do this?”

“I- I don’t know.” He croaked out as he felt the soft (so so soft) hands pull the shirt up, over his head. He leaned forward to make it easier for Kenma, their height difference getting in the way. Kenma was able to pull off the shirt and when Kuroo’s vision was clear he looked down at Kenma. The blond held the shirt tightly in his hands, eyes roaming from Kuroo’s chest over to his arms. Kuroo smirked, happy that Kenma was checking him out. He took a step back, ready to start stretching a bit to continue to show off his arms. 

Well, he was going to do that until his foot slipped on something. He waved his arms, trying to find some sort of balance. It was all in vain as he fell, his back hitting the floor with a band and he groaned in pain. “Fuuuuuucccccckkk.”

“Are you okay?” Kenma looked down at him, eyes drowned in worry as he leaned forward slightly. His hands were out in front of him, one hand still clenching the shirt. 

“Yeah, yeah.” Kuroo pushed himself up, blushing again. How come this shit always happened to him? He shook it off with a grin and he stood up, smiling sheepishly. “Anyways, I was trying to tell you that I already have a tattoo on the top half of my back.”

Kenma raised an eyebrow at him as Kuroo turned around. The repeating pattern tattoo took the top half of his back. Beautiful gray scale tattoos moved down his arms. He could feel the light touches of finger tips on his back before Kenma spoke again. “This is okay. I could start the tattoo to look like it’s coming from underneath this one. Would that be okay?”

“Yeah, that sounds awesome. I’ll just lay down now.” Kuroo said, a bit awkward as he got frazzled by Kenma’s hand on his back. He moved over to the chair, laying face down on it. He could hear rustling behind him, and the pull of a chair. Kuroo could feel the stencil being lined up on his back, the press of the outline on his back. It felt so calming that Kuroo could feel himself melt a little. 

“So Kenma.” He heard a little noise of acknowledgement. “How did you get into tattooing anyways?” 

“Ah. Well when I was younger I lived down the street from a tattoo shop. I couldn’t stop myself from going down and everyone there sorta just took me under their wing. I would bring them temporary tattoos and they would put them on for me. Everyone who came to the shop would call me the ‘Tattoo Kid’. When the owner found out I was going to this university he told me he knew some guys that owned a tattoo shop here. He called in for a favor and here I am.” Kuroo felt the paper be pulled away and the sounds of more rustling.

“Wow, that’s really cool.” Kuroo could hear the vibrations of the needle and hissed a little as it touched his back. It took a minute or so before the pain dulled a bit. “Do you have any tattoos?”

“I have one on my thigh. It’s a flower piece. I got it a couple of months ago. Other than that, that’s it.” Kuroo felt lulled by the feel of the needle on his back. “What about you? Like your first tattoo.” 

“My first tattoo is the cat eyes on my right arm. I cried like a baby but I love it just the same. Bokuto has owl eyes on his left arm.” He could feel himself falling asleep, something that always happened whenever he got a tattoo. The feel of the needle just felt nice and calming to him. He’s fallen asleep underneath the needle before. People have called his pain tolerance frightening. He could hear Kenma say something but before he knew it, he felt himself fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly ive been having a lot of anxiety lately and i kinda put tthose feelings into kuroo. i do headcannon him with anxiety and this happened. this chapter is heavier than most of them sorry. i tried to make it funny at the least. thank you so much for reading and comments and kudos. as normal if you wanna chat [here you go](http://not-deadish.tumblr.com/) -morgan


	9. Very Very Naked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo gets on the weong train, binge watches, and wiggles his way to freedom.

Kuroo was wrapped up in blankets, unwillingly to move from his bed. He had his phone in his hand, switching from one game to another. Right now he was on Neko Atsume. He smiled to himself when he saw that Chairman Meow had come to visit him again.

After checking on his cats,he sighed and let the phone fall from his hands. After he was woken up from his tattoo session yesterday, Kenma wrapped up his back and they parted ways. Kuroo tried to think of anyway that he could stay with Kenma longer. He didn’t even care if it would’ve been Kenma talking the whole time. Heck he would pay just to be in Kenma’s presence. But everything that was coming out of his mouth was awkward and sloopy due to his tattoo high. 

He had staggered his way to the train station. The biggest problem he had after a tattoo session was refocusing his eyes. It sounded really fucking stupid, but a lot of things about Kuroo were really fucking stupid. He just kept his eyes closed whenever he got a tattoo because it helped him forget the needles constantly digging into his skin. Nevermind the fact he accidently got on a train heading out of the city and almost didn’t make the last city stop. 

He came home to an empty apartment. Daichi was out with Suga probably. Probably doing nasty things like making out and softly saying ‘I love you’ and feeling each other’s butts. Bokuto was god knows where doing god knows what. Kuroo couldn’t imagine it being anything pleasant or respectable. And Kuroo had a sneaking suspicion that Asahi was out with Nishinoya if Nishinoya’s snapchat story had anything to say for it. It was a series of photos that appeared to be him and Asahi in a bed both of them very, very, very naked. If you looked closely, you could see the slow dawn of relization in Asahi’s face when he realized his blanket covered ween was seen by 598 people.

Kuroo lumped through the apartment, trying to decide what to do with himself. He still felt that stinging edge of anxiety the day has left him, and he felt somewhat defeated after his tattoo session. He normally felt a great high after getting a tattoo done. It was something about the fresh ink on his skin that made him feel as if nothing could hurt him. But right now he was being stupid and he knew it. Like for pete’s sake, he was Kuroo Tetsuro. HE was known as the campus heart throb. Was that mostly based off of people’s assumptions of his appearance and how he acted with Bokuto, yes. Did that matter in this situation, probably. But that didn’t mean Kuroo should sit around feeling sorry for himself.

So he walked through his apartment with determination. His first stop? The fridge. He decided it would be the perfect night for a tub of ice scream and binge watch Korean Dramas. It was several hours later when Kuroo decided to take a look out the window and saw the first of sunlight peeking over the horizon when he finally decided to go to bed.

So here he is, lazing around in bed because Wednesday is the one day he doesn’t have classes till late noon. He sat back for a few more seconds, trying to ignore the pain in his stomach. It was there, resting in the pit of his stomach. It was saying ‘Get up, eat some fucking food, HELP YOUR FUCKING BODY KUROO’. Maybe if he ignored the pain, it would go away. He took a deep breath and held it.

Nope, nope. He gotta eat.

He sighed and rolled off his bed, not even bothering to let go of his blankets.He didn’t even bother to get out of his blankets. He inched his way to his door. This was the difficult part. Even though the door was STILL not on its hinges, it was leaning against the frame. Time to use problem solving skills. He pushed his head against the door, trying to get it too move. He could feel it inching to the side, making it push it harder. Just when he thought he was gonna get the door away, it fell over on him.

“FUCK.” The door slammed on top of him, knocking the breath out of him. Once he was able to properly breathe again, he wiggled from under the door trying to get out.He probably looked idiotic, but no one was around to watch him.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He heard from above him. He stopped his wiggling, eyes wide in panic. Until he realized who said it.

“Oikawa, get the fuck out of my apartment.” He scowled at the brunette who so rudely bursted into his apartment, unwelcomed, AGAIN. 

“Oh, so you don’t want help. Than I’ll just leave.” Oikawa cringed as he heard the footsteps of Oikawa walking away.

“Oikawa wait.” He heard the footsteps stop.

“Yes?” He cringed at the overly happy voice.

“Your butt looks flat in those jeans.”

“Oh fuck you, Tetsuro.” He could hear Oikawa walking away again and he knew he had to suck it up.

“Oikawa.” The footsteps stopped again.

“Yessssssssss.”

Kuroo cringed and took a deep breath. “Can you please help me get this door off of me?”

“Oh how the mighty fall, Tetsu-chan.” He heard Oikawa giggle and he felt the door move from on top of him. He rolled on his back to look up at the brunette. “So can I ask why you were under a door?”

“Get out of my apartment Oikawa.” Oikawa’s smile instantly turned upside down and he held the door over Kuroo again.

“What were you saying, Kuroo?” 

“Would you like to stay over for breakfast?” Kuroo said with a scowl.

“Why yes I would.” Oikawa’s smile was back and he placed the door against the wall. He clapped his hands together, sickly smile still on his face and skipped out of Kuroo’s room. Kuroo mumbled a ‘bitchface’ under his breath before unrolling himself from his cocoon. It was always fun when Oikawa took over his apartment. 

He stood up and made his way to the kitchen, where Oikawa was sitting at the table and texting on his phone. Kuroo waltzed up behind him, not making a noise until he took the phone out of Oikawa’s hands.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Oikawa whipped around to look at Kuroo. Kuroo gave a shrug, showing nothing in his hands. “Kuroo, what did you do to my phone?”

“I have no clue what you are talking about.” He made his way to the fridge, smiling when he found a carton of eggs and some leftover rice. He could see Oikawa pouting and crossing his arms in the corner of his eyes. “So what are you doing in my apartment when I have a sign on there saying ‘No Oikawa Toorus of any kind beyond this point’ on our front door?”

“You know, that sign is very rude.” Oikawa stuck his tongue out at Kuroo, flipping him the bird. “Anyways, I’m having problems with Iwa-chan.”

“And you come to me, probably the most hopeless person relationship wise you know.” He looked over at Oikawa, point his spatula at him in question. “Like Bokuto is doing better than me for pete’s sake.” 

 

“Holy shit, did he actually get with the drug dealer more than once?” Oikawa slammed his hands on the table, voice filled with disbelief. 

“Yeah. I think he’s paying the dude though. No one that hot could actually want Bokuto.” Kuroo flipped the bacon in the pan, letting it rest for a few seconds before moving it to a plate. “Anyway, so why are you here if I am pretty much the worst at relationships?”

“Oh sometimes I like knowing that there are people who are worse than me.” 

“Oh ha ha, fuck you Oikawa.” He turned to the table, dropping a plate in front of Oikawa before sitting down for himself. “Just whine to me like you normally do.”

“Ugh, Iwa-chan is being distant with me.” Oikawa stabbed a piece of his egg on his plate. “It’s like he won’t talk to me as much anymore and whenever we are together he says a grand total of like ten words. Ten words!”

“Isn’t Iwaizumi normally quiet, though?”

“Yeah, but it just feels off now, you know? He doesn’t seem as excited to talk to me anymore. Kuroo, what if Hajime is gonna break up with me?” 

Kuroo looked up at Oikawa. The brunette was visibly upset, not just the normal pout he wore when he was pissed off. His eyes were staring down at his plate as he pushed his food around with his fork. “Oikawa.”

“Hmmm?” His eyes looked up at Kuroo. 

“I don’t think Iwaizumi is going to break up with you so stop worrying. He loves you too much. It’s disgusting to say, but seeing you two together…. Anyone can tell you both really love each other. I can’t imagine Iwaizumi breaking up with you.” Kuroo gave Oikawa a gentle smile, trying to placate the boy. Oikawa was still staring at his plate, eyes wide as he thought about what Kuroo was saying. 

“Thank you, Kuroo.” Oikawa gave him a teasing smile. “Now if only you knew how to help yourself.”

“Shut the fuck up, bitch baby.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahahhahaha hey bitches guess who updated!!!!!!! I didddddddddd. Does this mean this fic will update more often?????? Maybeeeee!!!!!! Like i actually have some ideas for this??? But what i really wanna know is like how would you guys like to see this fic end?


	10. Out There In The Negative 70s

It was very difficult for Kuroo to NOT lose his cool. A pile of cute kittens can make him lose his cool. Daichi sneezing can make him lose his cool, because Daichi has the cutest sneeze in existence. A random stranger smiling at him can make him lose his cool. In fact, Kuroo has absolutely no cool in the first place.

Like if being cool was rated on a scale of 1 to a 100, Kuroo would be somewhere hanging out in the negative 70s. He is just a very uncool person despite what half the campus has to say about him.

Which is why Kuroo totally lost his cool when he saw Kenma sitting in the desk next to where Kuroo normally sits when he walked into their Thursday philosophy class. To put his embarrassment shortly, he walked into his professor’s desk without realizing it. He didn’t even really notice that he was falling until his head hit the ground.

“Tetsuro, are you okay?” Takeda Ittetsu, his professor, loomed over him, staring down at his student worried.

“Yes. I apologize.” Kuroo sat up slowly, trying to get his head straight again. “I just got a little… distracted.” From the corner of his eye, he could see Kenma giggling into his hand discretely, making Kuroo flush even brighter.

“Well, if you’re okay.” Takeda nodded his head as Kuroo stood up and bowed slightly to his teacher. He walked up the stairs to his seat, his feet feeling more and more heavy with every step up he took. He finally was at his seat, sitting down in silence. Takeda had begun his lecture, but it was all going through one ear and out the other for Kuroo. He couldn’t take the silence and the tension between him and Kenma anymore.

“Why are you sitting next to me?” He whispered to Kenma under his breathe.

“Well. I guess I was a bit tired of feeling like I was being glared at from behind.” Kuroo blushed even darker when he heard Kenma’s response.

“I wasn’t glaring at you.” He said a little too quickly in his defense. Kenma didn’t respond right away, so Kuroo continued talking. “I just. I don’t know. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you.” 

“...... Kuroo that’s really gay.” 

“WHAT!” Kuroo screamed out, gaining the attention of the whole class. “.... Sorry.” 

“You’re really not as cool as anyone on this campus says.” Kenma said as soon as Takeda started lecturing again.

“Trust me, I know that. I’m not even sure where people got the idea from in the first place.” Kuroo shook his head. “But anyways, I wasn’t TRYING to be gay.” 

“Then what were you trying to be”

Kuroo sighed and looked at Kenma. “Look, I would rather not have this discussion in a whispered hush during our philosophy class. Plus I’m pretty sure the girl behind us is video taping us.” He glared at the girl, who slammed her phone on her desk. “I have two more classes after this. But after that, I’m free all day. Do you think you could meet me at my apartment later?”

Kenma didn’t respond at first. He stared at the front of the room, nervously playing with his fingers.”Okay.” He looked up at Kuroo, glancing at him from behind a curtain of hair. “I’ll go.”

Kuroo couldn’t help the smile that grew on his face.

\-----

Kuroo couldn’t help but run around the apartment in a fit of panic.

He had made several laps around the place, trying to put away large piles of random shit and make it look like humans could live in it without getting some sort of infectious disease. 

Bokuto and Akaashi were on the couch snuggling and eating popcorn. When they had actually gotten together enough to permit cuddling on the couch, Kuroo doesn’t know. Was he happy for his best bro? Yes. Was he slightly grossed out? A lot more than slightly.

“Kuroo, freaking out won’t help you, you know that?” Akaashi said. 

“Okay, but crazy thought.” Kuroo paused. “What if it does?”

“Bro, bro, bro.” Bokuto shook his head. “You just gotta take it calmmmmmmm. Nice and easy, you know?”

Kuroo stopped his pacing to glare at his best friend. “You are the exact opposite of nice and easy, you fucking dolt. You only got with Akaashi because you pretty much stalked him.” 

“Well, he did win me over with his pathetic attempts at being a suitor.” Akaashi grinned widely at Kuroo. 

“Yeah! Wait hey, they weren’t pathetic.”

“Bokuto, dear they were sorta pathetic.” Bokuto pouted at Akaashi, who laughed and kissed his cheek. “It’s okay, I liked your pathetic attempts a lot.” 

“Okay, you guys are grossly adorable and all, but can you leave before Kenma comes?” Kuroo pushed the two of them apart, stopping them mid eskimo kiss. 

“Hell no, bro.” 

“We’re here to stop you from having a panic attack when talking to Kenma.” 

“I’m pretty sure you guys being here will give me even more of a panic attack.” Kuroo sat down on the recliner next to the couch, letting out a deep breathe. “God what if I make an idiot out of myself?”

“I mean like, you already did, bro.” Bokuto shrugged his shoulders. “And if it really bothers him that much, he doesn’t deserve how awesome you are.”

Kuroo felt his eyes tearing up. “Bro.”

“Bro.” Bokuto said as he got of his seat at the same time as Kuroo. They met in the middle, hugging out their feelings. 

“Wow, you guys are really fucking gay.” Akaashi said from the couch.

“Yeah we are.” Bokuto said, goofy smile large on his face.

“Anyways…” A knock on the door distracted his line of thought. Everyone’s heads swung to the door. 

“Oh god, someone kill me.” Kuroo whispered under his breathe. “Maybe if no one says a thing, he’ll think nobody's home.”

“You can come in, the door is open!” Bokuto yelled out. 

“Bokuto no!” Kuroo tackled Bokuto to the ground as Kenma opened the door. 

“Uhhhh,” he stared at Kuroo straddling Bokuto on the ground. “Is now a bad time?”

“No no no no no.” Kuroo rolled off of Bokuto, jumping up off the floor. “It’s fine, these two were just leaving.”

“Yup. We were just going to enjoy ourselves in Bokuto’s room.” Akaashi said standing up. He walked over to Kenma and wrapped him up into a hug, Kenma hugging him back. “How are you doing sweetie?”

“I’m fine, I guess.” Kenma snuggled his head into Akaashi’s shoulder lightly. 

“Good, good.” He lifted Kenma’s head lightly and kissed him on the lips. “Good luck.” He let go of Kenma and turned to Bokuto. “Come on, let’s leave em alone.”

Bokuto nodded rapidly, in a daze from seeing Kenma and Akaashi kiss. He followed Akaashi into his room, bouncing like a puppy. 

Kenma and Kuroo were finally alone. 

“Uh…..” Kuroo started off. 

“Yeah.” Kenma rocked back on his heels, keeping his hands clasped together in front of him. 

“Look, I just. I didn’t mean to freak you out with anything I’ve done.” Kuroo said. The one time he actually needed to talk to Kenma, he didn’t know what to say. 

Kenma was silent, looking Kuroo in the eyes. He took a deep breath and spoke. “Kuroo, do you like me?”

“Yes!” Kuroo stepped forward, arms wide open. “Yes, I like. Like you a lot. Like a lot more than I should. I’ve liked you since I first saw you. I just never knew what to say to you at all. I always got so flustered and worried you would think I was a freak.”

“.... And you’re not making fun of me or play a prank?” Kenma stepped forward slightly, hands still wrapped around each other.

“No, no, no, I could never do that to you. I like you wayyyyyyy too much. Like enough to the fact that I am being a huge idiot and I keep saying that I like you a lot.”

Kenma was silent again, eyes flicking between Kuroo and the floor. “And that time we were together after the party? You didn’t invite me just for sex?” 

“What? No never. I was just really drunk and when I’m really drunk I do stupid things. I’m so sorry about that.”

“It’s fine. I do stupid things too.” Kenma looked up at Kuroo, who was only a step in front of him. “I just, wasn’t sure why I was at your apartment of all people’s. I got flustered. I had to go before I panicked.”

“I’m so sorry about that. I’ll make it up to you anyway I can, I swear.”

“It’s fine. Don’t worry too much. I just….. yes.”

“Yes?” Kuroo stepped closer a bit more. 

“I would be okay if you asked me out on a date.” Kenma blushed and looked down at the floor. 

“You would?” Kuroo was blushing just as much, stars in his eyes. 

“Yes.”

“Then Kenma.” He placed a hand under his chin, lifting Kenma’s head to look him in the eyes. “Would you like to go on a date with me?”

“Yes.” 

Kuroo couldn’t stop the smile that spread across his face as Kenma’s blush deepened. “I know this may be fast but…. can I kiss you?”

Kenma’s mouth opened slightly, his lips forming a small o. He nodded his head stuttering out a small ‘okay’. 

Kuroo leaned down and gently pressed his lips against Kenma’s. He smiled into the kiss as he wrapped his arm’s around Kenma’s waist, Kenma wrapping his own arm’s around Kuroo’s neck. 

“Whoop whoop, get it in Kuroo.” Bokuto cheered from his door, clapping his hands. Kenma and Kuroo broke apart and glared at the idiot, who smiled at them sheepishly. 

“Get back in here, you moron.” Akaashi dragged Bokuto back into the room, but not before giving Kuroo and Kenma a thumbs up. 

“Well then.” Kuroo looked back at Kenma. “Would you like to watch a movie with me on the couch? I promise you won’t get an infectious disease.” 

Kenma giggled at his joke, his hand covering his mouth. “Sure.”

And as they sat down on the couch, Kuroo could only smile as the gods finally didn’t punch him in the face for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally done. Like wow. I spent so much time on this thing. I'm so happy you guys were with me through this journey. Like honestly, this story is a bit of a mess. There are inconsitent things everywhere and so many spelling mistakes due to the fact that I wrote most chapters in the middle of the night. But here it is, my finished product. Just. Thank you all so much. For the comments, for the kudos, for the encouragement, for everything. I love you guys. I have a couple more stories if you want to read em and you can always talk to me at [ right here](http://not-deadish.tumblr.com) And really I am always open to talking to new people, getting ideas, and crying over fictional characters. So this is it for Burnt Fudge, Tequila Shots. Thank you guys. Thank you a lot. 
> 
> -Morgan


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